Birthday round two...

And did I mention that this last Sunday, almost a week after my actual birthday, my super sweet and sneaky hubby - with help and support from my best friend and my mother - threw me my first total surprise party!?

Just when I thought my birthday was totally over and behind me. It was great. I don't think I've ever been as surprised as I was when I walked into my own kitchen after church and saw all my friends standing there yelling "SURPRISE!" to me. It took me a minute to figure out what was going on. ;o) Poor Girly Pie and Goose were completely shocked and confused.

So thanks guys. I've now been humbled. I didn't really think I could ever be totally surprised like that.

For once, I am happy to say I was wrong. ;o)

Nine years later...

Nine years ago today I made a promise...

...to love, honor and cherish one man for the rest of my life.

I never dreamed I would be so blessed as I am today.

Nine years ago today I was a naive 20 year old young lady with a huge ego, big plans, a whole lot of control issues and no clue what life was really about.

Nine years ago today I thought I could make my husband into the Perfect Man...

Nine years ago today I thought I knew what the Perfect Man was.

Nine years ago today I did not know the Lord, nor did I consult Him in one of the biggest decisions of my life.

But over the past nine years, God has blessed me despite my ignorance and disobedience. Instead of letting me have what I really deserved - a life full of pain and trouble from going my way rather than seeking out His will - He has filled my life up beyond measure with gifts, love, peace, grace and family.

In His infinite wisdom God knew I would not be asking His will in my marriage, but He chose a wonderful man for me anyway. He knew I would not look to Him to plan our children - no, I knew much better than He did what kind of family I wanted, after all - but He still has blessed us four times over with beautiful children, true gifts from Him (which I now know, of course!).

God also knew I might not find Him on my own, so He blessed me along the way with a wonderful best friend and Christian mentor in Mary Grace who has patiently walked alongside me and has challenged me to grow in my faith and in my role as Godly wife to my husband.

And here I am today, still married to the man I thought I had chosen but now realize God had carefully picked out long before I was on the lookout. I am the mother to four beautiful children whom I did not earn or deserve, but somehow God trusted me to be their mother and to raise them alongside the husband he chose. I love and follow Jesus now in a way I not only never imagined, but sadly for many years of my life never even wanted.

So the point of all this is to say that nine years ago today, I was blessed to marry my husband. And he has loved me well through all of my faults and weaknesses, through my stubbornness and pride, my selfishness and blindness.

God has been patient and gentle with me over the years.. but He is, after all, God. He promises that and He never breaks His promises.

But my husband is just a man, like anyone else. And he too has weaknesses and faults. And though he made a promise to me nine years ago today, he is just a man and men are weak - there was no guarantee that beautiful June day that the promises he made to me would be kept.

But... through sickness and health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse... through all my pride, selfishness, stubbornness and blindness, my husband has indeed kept his promise. He has loved me and has taken care of me and has forgiven me more times than I care to think about.

So today, nine years down the road of the blessed marriage, I am thankful.

I am thankful to God for His presence and His blessings... and His grace and forgiveness, and for the man he provided in my husband.

And I am thankful to my husband for his love and his grace and forgiveness of my sins towards him. I am thankful to him for going to work each day and working twice as hard, just so that I can stay home and raise our children. I am thankful for his laugh and the twinkle in his eye. I am thankful for his silly fetish with cameras, because though I roll my eyes at the purchases, I do very much appreciate all the beautiful moments of our life captured on them. I am thankful for his BBQ skills and his un-picky eating habits and his mellow nature and his comfortable presence. I am thankful for the man he has become over the nine years of our marriage and the father I have watched him grow into over our seven + years of parenthood. I am thankful that he does the dishes more nights than not. I am thankful that he puts hours and hours into decorating our Christmas tree and our house with lights every Christmas, even though he doesn't care - just because he loves me and wants to make me happy. I am thankful that he embraces my Christian morals and the Christian raising of our family, even though he does not (yet) know the Lord as his personal savior.

So nine years later... I'm older, wiser, more humble and know a whole lot less than I thought I did way back then. Nine years later I realize I am not the wonderful woman I thought I was... and my husband is a much better man than I realized he was.

Happy Anniversary, My Love. Nine years. Thank you for loving me - no matter what.

Oh, and by the way... I love you, too. ;o)

What took you so long!?

For the past almost four years since we moved into this house, I have had this sign:

Taped up over our doorbell on the front porch.

Well, actually, this is probably the third or fourth version of the sign. The others were either torn or the tape got unsticky so I had to remake the sign a few times.

But still. You get the point.

Yes, the doorbell chimes just feet from our nursery where once toddler Finny, then baby Goose and now baby Girly Pie have slept. And yes, when it has been rung during nap times, they all inevitably woke up in a horrendous mood. So yes, the sign was necessary.

But seriously. Could you get more tacky than that? Notice the cracked masking tape that held it up? See the faded lettering that you have to strain to make out? Punky pointed out to me yesterday, as he tore the thing down, that I must have had it up backwards. The ink was actually darker on the backside than on the front.

At first it was just temporary. I took it down in between naps. But as you can imagine, I would forget to put it up some days, and those were of course the days that the UPS gal would come and ring the bell smack in the middle of a much needed nap. So I just started leaving my temporary sign up all the time.

I lived in denial, thinking it wouldn’t be needed that long.

But as the weeks turned into months, and then years… well, I finally admitted that it was to be a permanent fixture to our front porch.

So for the past couple of years I’ve been meaning to make a pretty little sign to replace the tacky taped paper one. But really, I never walk up to my door and knock or ring the bell. I always enter through the garage. Out of sight, out of mind, after all.

But, after years of excuses, better things to do, forgotten ugly signs, teasing remarks from my dad who would never have stood for such a tasteless little (not so) welcome sign on his own front porch…

I am proud to announce that today it took me all of an hour (maybe less... though broken up for drying time between the paint and the varnish coat…) to do up this cute little sign:


I guess all it took was the guilt of seeing my son pull my handy little sign off the porch helpfully, seeing it as nothing more than a piece of trash on the wall.

So this afternoon while Girly Pie napped and the boys played out back, I whipped out my acrylic paints and a little wooden plate I’d intended for a name sign on Girly Pie’s door (never got around to that either…) and set down to work. Then when Hubby got home he was kind enough to drill out two small holes in the circle areas I’d painted for just such a purpose. He was also sweet enough to drill a little hook into the siding above the doorbell so I could hang the thing up. Then I stuck some yarn through the holes, tied a knot in the back, and VOILA!!! A cute, happy little sign on the front porch.

Let’s just hope it still gets the point across to Mrs. UPS. ;o)

My Man

I have the best husband EVER!

Today my Man was so cute and funny with the kids. I can't remember the last time I giggled so much as I watched him play superhero with Goose today. Goose got a new little Batman figure, his very first superhero all for himself. And to hear my husband role play with Batman, Superman and Buzz Lightyear all to a 2 1/2 year old level - well there aren't words to say how stinking cute and funny he was.

He was the one who made it to the store to pick up a few trinkets for Valentine's Day for the kids, and he even made me dinner tonight! He made delicious shredded BBQ pork sandwiches and a wonderful spinach salad with a homemade vinaigrette dressing. We made chocolate dipped strawberries for dessert, and will enjoy those in a few minutes here. I had no idea he could make his way around a kitchen as well as he did tonight!

I just can't believe how loved and romanced I felt through all this, to have him plan the meal, do the shopping and prepare the dinner. I'm just so thankful I get to call him MINE! He's just an amazing guy. So Happy Valentine's Day to me. ;o) Thanks, Honey!

My Wonderful Man

There is just nothing sweeter than a man and his children thoroughly enjoying each other's company.

My husband has an outdoor job, and it was wet and rainy today. I think we had some near record floods even. There were threats of the only highway that leads to our small town being closed. But my Man made it home. He walked through the door (a good hour later than he'd planned) wet but happy to be here. He threw his work clothes in the wash so they could be ready for tomorrow and I brought down some fresh, dry sweats.

And then the fun began. That wonderful Man of mine just got down on the floor and let a couple of the boys tackle him and he listened to the excited explanations of the day's happenings. Punky told him all about how much flood water we'd seen on our drive to and from town for Girly Pie's 6 month checkup this morning and Daddy listened with full interest. Finny tackled and tickled and Punky went to get this new doodad that came in a ball pump package. It's a tee for football kicking. I'm sure there is a very technical term for the little plastic thingy that holds the football still so the kicker guy can kick it. But I'll be darned if I have a clue what that technical term might be. Anyway. Daddy knew the name. And Punky kicked the ball and Finny caught it. Daddy then gave them the basics of football and showed them how to properly tackle an opposing player who catches the ball. I'm a complete idiot when it comes to sports, and though my husband is quite knowledgeable on most sports, it's still not one of his major passions in life. So it was a novel thing tonight to have this sports tutorial.

But boy did those boys all have fun kicking and tackling and throwing around the family room. And my Man was smiling the whole time and so happy to be there with his boys. And I was getting the last bits of dinner ready and on the table for my beautiful family. And Goose (who apparently has an ear infection) finally got over the post-nap stupor he'd been fighting all afternoon and was just a complete goofy delight at dinner.

When my Man was spooning bites of stuffing into little Goose's mouth, Goose was standing in his booster seat (bad habit, it bugs me but Daddy doesn't mind so I don't fight it) doing a crazy little dance with each mouthful. It was hilarious.

And is it just me, or is there something just so darn cute and sexy about a man whose eyes twinkle at the sight of his kids doing something cute or sweet? I just love that.

And when Girly Pie spotted him he gave her his best Daddy grin and she was in the Moby wrap and did the full body wiggle of delight and bobbed her head down in this demure, faux-shy girly little move that none of the boys have ever done. It's funny to me that it seems to really delight her Daddy when she does that. That girl is going to win that man over hands down.

Ahhh. life is so sweet when you have such a wonderful, loving man to share it with, you know?

Doing this 30-Day Challenge has been neat, but I admit that it's not been life altering. Now don't get me wrong... I can definitely use the daily reminder to say something encouraging to him and to avoid the temptation to complain to him or about him when he does something I don't like. But on the whole I have realized that I am generally doing alright naturally at complimenting him and appreciating all that he does for me and for our family.

I know that had I tried it two or three years ago it would have been really difficult to follow through on. To give a quick rundown on the challenge, the goal is to go thirty days without saying anything negative to your husband or about him to anyone else. You also need to make sure you say at least one positive thing to him, and one positive thing about him to someone else, every day. I know that in years past this would have been very hard for me. I was quite disrespectful and undermining of my husband's role in our home and family for the vast majority of our relationship. But the sad part is that I didn't even see it as such. And to have tried this a few years back, even after becoming Christian, would have been really eye opening for me. But honestly, I've realized that I am already doing this most of the time in a conscious effort to be more respectful of him in general.

The real turning point for me in my attitude towards my husband was really when we read Emerson Eggerichs' Love and Respect about two years ago. It was really an awakening for me into how much I was taking away from his confidence by constantly trying to better him and "constructively" criticize him. The basic point the book makes is that men should love their wives unconditionally (and society seems to support this half of the equation) and that wives should respect their husbands unconditionally (this goes completely against societal norms - when is the last time you watched a prime time sitcom where the husband was treated with respect either by the wife or the children?). It was hard at first, but I was amazed at how quickly our relationship changed when I just started to focus on the things I did love and respect about my husband, and I tried to ignore or gloss over the things that I thought needed improvement.

Funny thing. Suddenly I really saw that he was this great guy, and he didn't really need much improvement after all. I was the one who needed improvement. And the icing on this lovely cake? He actually started doing nicer things for me and improving naturally in all the areas that I felt worries about previous to my change in attitude. Crazy, huh?

So, I bring all this up just to say that books like Love and Respect, and efforts like the 30-Day Challenge really can make an amazing difference in a marriage. I would never go so far as to say we had an unhappy marriage. But now that I make a general daily effort to appreciate the man that God has blessed me with I find that our relationship is, on the whole, a beautiful one.

I am one very blessed woman. And I love that my husband lets me know that he feels like a very blessed man, too.