Grumpiness Update

Well I did indeed end up having a very nice time at the family gathering yesterday. The car ride was decent. The kids were happy and cooperative. My headache lingered but did lessen. And after a rather adrenaline-pumping experience of just barely making it back to the car in time for our ferry to board ( I actually threw kids in seats just in time to barely get in the driver seat and get the car in gear as I drove onto the ferry without anyone buckled! That's crazy for me!), my focus was back on the rush of life and not so much stuck in the doldrums. So that helped. ;o)

But the highlight of the day, the thing that helped it all to come back around so that I could really remember why I find so much joy in the work that I do and in the family that I work so very hard for, was in the hour I spent in a community pool at the beach house where the gathering was. All four of our kids wanted to go in, so my husband was not quite enough to keep them all in arm's reach (only one is really a swimmer, and even with life jackets, Goose is too scared to do any floating alone) which meant that I had to put on a swimsuit and join the crew.

I do like swimming, but I do not like cold. So to go into any body of water that is cooler than a bathtub is a bit of a bother to me. But my baby girl was so happy to go in the water, and those boys' smiles were so big, that I just couldn't say no. So once I was suited and in the pool, the fun really began.

Punky was a complete fish. Once he had on a snorkel, I was shocked to find that he can actually fully swim! He's built like a brick and sinks like a rock, so even with strokes and skills he has had a hard time in the past. But he was completely confident and capable yesterday. I was so proud of and happy for him. My boy is so big. Finny was thrilled to toodle around in his life jacket, and he even took it off towards the end and did great just paddling around with a floaty kickboard. He is clearly well on his way to swimming independence, too. Goose was so proud to be in the big pool. "Wook Mommy. I'm swimmin' in duh poow!" He was quite the cling-on with either my Hubby or myself, but he was so cute and thrilled to kick and "swim" all over the place.

And then there was Girly Pie. She's never been in a big pool before. I know she likes baths and the little blow up backyard pools we put out on hot days, but she can always touch the bottom in those situations. But that girl LOVES to swim! Her whole body squirmed and kicked with delight as we floated her around in the pool. She kicked enthusiastically, and seemed completely unfazed by any distance from us - we could hold her out at arm's length and she gladly just kicked away, enjoying the sensation of the water all around her. The smile on her face was so wide made it look as though her cheeks were literally ready to split apart! Her little face is burned in my mind in one of those never-to-be-forgotten memories.

I guess I've gotten a little overwhelmed lately by all that it takes to keep a larger family running - the laundry, the food planning and prep, the school planning, cleaning, organizing, not to mention disciplining and putting out the fires between my three busy boys right now. And the struggles with Finny's SPD are hard on me, too. I have been so busy pouring myself into getting on top of things with him, and keeping afloat in the sea of daily duties that I have lost the focus on the daily joys. And some days, I honestly don't seem to have time for the daily joys.

But yesterday, watching my baby girl light up with the new and wonderful experience of feeling weightless in a vast expanse of water was almost a spiritual experience for me. To see all my children so lit up by the joy of that hour in the pool did wonders for my heart.

Yes, there is a lot to do. And yes, there are times when I am doing so much "damage control" with one or another of my more demanding or needy children that I will miss out on the simpler and more enjoyable moments with them or the others.

But that's not all there is to it. And I do not want to get so caught up in the trials that I miss the rewards and the joys.

So today, thanks in part to an hour in a pool, and thanks in larger part to my Hubby who has blessed me today with a bit of a "day off" after I broke down and told him I was just overloaded and needed a chance to just rest and be off duty for some of today, I do feel much better.

Today I got to spend a few quiet moments with each of those whom I love so much. I slept in a bit and had a few quiet moments to read the Bible before I started my day. I had a bit of a quiet time with my Hubby. I sat and picked a few blackberries to munch with Girly Pie. I played Legos alone with Finny. I had a short but sweet snuggle with Goose after his rest. And though I have not had time yet with just Punky, I do plan to read a bit extra with him tonight in our time together at bedtime, so I can just enjoy that sweet big boy of mine. And we all ate lunch quietly together. And we all took a walk. And my Man made breakfast and brought home lunch and will help with dinner. My kids are enjoying the day of rest, and I am already feeling refreshed and ready to begin a new week.

So yesterday's big whine-fest was truly driven by a struggling heart and a tired and weak body that has been pushed past its limits for awhile. But today I feel the joy in this life God has blessed me with has been renewed. I feel better ready to handle the speed bumps on the road ahead.

I feel more like myself, in other words. Which is much better than this curmudgeon that seems to have taken over my body lately! ;o)

Confessions of a grumpy Mommy

A headache. A 5am wake-up caused by a very cranky little girl (no - she didn't cause the headache, but I doubt she's helped much to relieve it). An uncooperative 5 year old with sensory issues that seem to be really making a star appearance this morning. A long car ride ahead with no hubby to enjoy it with. A ferry ride in addition to the car ride. Again, no one to help out with potty runs and the like on the ferry (I sure hope no one has to pee when someone else is asleep in the car...). All for a trip to a very un-baby-safe house on a beach with a bunch of family members - some of whom I enjoy, some I strain to be pleasant around. Four very excited - and very rambunctious - children. And a bad attitude that I just can't seem to shake this morning.

I know that there is plenty of opportunity for fun and for joy today. There will be swimming and pot-lucking. There will be beach combing and blackberry picking. There might even be kayaking and sea fishing. The kids will be happy and dirty and off-the-wall delighted with the entire day.

But all I want is a good book and a long nap.

Do you ever just have one of those days where it just takes a whole lot of effort to smile for anyone? Well, to be 100% honest, that's me today. I wish I could just get over it. But so far all me wishing is not actually making a dent in the little black cloud I seem to be wearing over my head right now.

Gee, I hope I can pull it together before we arrive at the family gathering so I don't look like a complete humbug. ;o) Even reading this I can see what a terrible grump and complainer I am being. But I'm stuck. It won't go away.

Right. Well. Off I go to load the car and pack lunches. Man I just hope that at the very least this headache would just vanish.

OK. I'm done complaining now. I'm sure I'll have a lovely day. Eventually. ;o)