Sickness is for the birds.

I need to go to bed more than I need to post right now, but I wanted to quickly mention that things had been going really well with Little Bug in the mix, until the whole family got a Big Nasty Bug and we had vomiting and diarrhea for the past week. Everyone but Punky and (thank you Lord for answering prayers on this one) Little Bug got the nasty mini-flu and it was no fun. It was a short virus - one night each of being sick, one extra day of feeling rotten, and we were over it. From Monday to Sunday we fought the battle of illness.

And even though I was only two weeks into keeping up with everything as a Momma of five, I did alright all week. Even when I got hit with it (and with my low weight and my tendency to have trouble keeping up on calories to nurse well it's a bad thing for me to catch such a thing at this stage of the game) things still felt OK. I could do it all and it didn't feel too bad at all.

But it all caught up to me the other night and I was left in tears as I looked back on my week - and entire third of Little Bug's life - and realized I had walked through the whole thing on autopilot. I barely remembered a thing, and was sure I had lived very little of it in the moment. I hardly made eye contact with any of my kids, and had very little time to spare to actually enjoy the company of any of them. There were extra sheets and towels to wash, sick people to tend to, healthy people to keep away from the quarantined, a baby to tend to and basic needs to be met. I held my baby, sure, but I hardly got to enjoy him at all.

And that made me so sad. I so very much do not want to live this life on autopilot. And that night that I broke down was because it felt like maybe that was what life was really going to be like.

But I know it was just the illness on top of it all. Sleeplessness I can handle for months. A messier house than usual is no big deal to me. A little extra chaos, guilt over not doing enough stuff for school with the big kids, busy days and constant activity around me - all part of my life. But throw in that flu and I was down. It was a really bad week for that to happen, since it was the week I really felt back on my feet and ready to just be Mom again with my Hubby back at work.

But the Lord is good. My Hubby was able to be home for all our sick days (including one of his own!). What a blessing that was! Little Bug did not get sick, for which I cannot even tell you how grateful I am! The sickness was short lived, so those who did get sick got well quickly. Even my sickness was milder than the rest and I didn't even lose any weight. And even though I've already had some worries over nursing and low calorie intake I feel like God has answered my prayers and I already feel back on track with food and my milk supply.

So all this to say - I've not been writing because we've been sick and I have really just been working hard to be present when and where I can at home. And to say that even when things get hard, God always manages to shine through the darkness.

So this week we have been healthy and I know that life with our new family of seven really is just as beautiful, and even moreso, than life was with only six of us. Our days have been good and the kids adore Little Bug. I have been able to make time to just be with him in the day, as well as enjoy the others.

Yes, things are busier. There is more to do in a day and sure I have moments where there are more things to do than hands to do them. But it's the GOOD kind of busy. The kind of busy that makes me feel like my life is full to bursting, the kind of full that makes me sad for those whose lives seems calm - and empty.

But I am enjoying the days, the moments... the flashes of my Little Bug's first smile and the sweetness of my bigger guys all fawning over him, the sparkle in my husband's eyes as he scoops Girly Pie up in a huge Daddy hug when he gets home from work or when he holds our newborn son in his arms... life again feels so very sweet and I again feel so blessed to have been given these people in my family to share life with.

And as long as we stay vomit free, I think we're gonna be OK. ;o)

Love is patient, Love is kind...

Well after 5 solid days of high fevers, headaches, diarrhea and nausea, my sweet little Finny is finally on the mend. He came down with some nasty bug last Thursday, and was completely thrown for a loop until well into Monday afternoon. He'd flirt with low 100-101 temperatures for much of the daytimes, especially with ibuprofen running through his system, but every night he'd shoot right back up to the mid to high 103's, even measuring as high as 105. He ate next to nothing. He hardly left the couch. He sobbed through what must have been some really intense headaches for such a little man.

He was such a trooper and hardly complained at all. But by the time Tuesday morning rolled around and he wake fever free and finally ready to begin the recovery process, he was a wasted, broken little boy.

It's been a rough week this week. Honestly, with Finny, the recovery from illness is always harder on everyone (including him) than the sickness itself. He seems to do fine being wiped out, zonking on the couch with heavy doses of drinks in straw cups, videos, books and some coloring thrown in for fun. But come the day when he must rise from his stupor and actually accomplish anything whatsoever and it is as though the sky is falling every.single.time something doesn't go his way.

I know he physically cannot control himself in many ways. I know his little body struggles even on the best of days to maintain a sense of normalcy and balance that most of us take for granted. Sensory Processing Disorder is not something that he does on purpose just to make life difficult for himself and those he loves.

But can I just admit something here?

Man is it hard to maintain compassion and patience through a day (or two or three) of a five and a half year old boy whining, complaining, arguing, fussing, grumbling, withering, crying, whimpering and generally grumping through every single moment. I am thankful beyond words for my three other children who have been beyond patient and compassionate as they watch their brother fall to the floor in a heap of misery every time he has to, say, I don't know, choose a spoon to eat the pudding treat he should be thankful to be given. And I am thankful that I was blessed with enough patience and kindness to get through the day without just locking him in his room and putting earplugs in. But man, it took everything in me to not completely lose my cool with that boy. Actually, it took more than I had, which is where God stepped in and took over my own human will and weaknesses.

So I just wanted to vent that here. I love Finny more than I can say. He struggles, yes, but his struggles hit parts of my heart that I cannot even fathom being touched by anyone else. I ache to watch him suffer (and he has suffered more than all my other children combined in his short little life). But I just love him beyond reason. And yes, the past two days have been hard. I know he's lost a few pounds. I know he's weak and tired and his body has been thrown completely out of balance with the fevers and lack of nutrition over the many days of his very difficult flu. And I know that with patience, consistency, love and a whole lot of his OT exercises and some extra doses of sweetness on my part that we will see our sweet boy emerge again in a few days.

Sigh. But man, it's a stretch for me.

Thank you Lord. For Finny. For patience. For the grace You've shown me that has taught me how to show grace to others. For three other loving and patient children who know when to step back to let a brother in need get whatever it is he needs from me. And for the 12 hour break while he sleeps so I can ready myself (and You can fill me up with more of your grace and patience...) for yet another healthy day...

Goose

Oh, and by the way... Goose is totally over strep now. He started the antibiotics last Wednesday, and the last time he measured a fever was sometime Friday. By Saturday he was much more himself, and he was totally fine by Sunday.

So Goose is healthy. And we're happy.

And praise the Lord that no one else in the family (so far...) has had even the slightest hint of a fever or sore throat...

Update on Goose

So with a fever that keeps hitting 104 +/- whenever the ibuprofen wears off, plus the nasty looking white patches on each of little Goose's tonsils... I thought it best to bring the little man into the walk-in clinic at our local doctor's office (the regular docs didn't have any openings today)...

And he has strep throat. It's the first time anyone in our family has ever, ever had it. Neither my husband or I had ever even had it as kids.

But I am thankful to God for a kind on-call doctor who was more than happy to prescribe a full Z-pack for my boy without even putting him through the pain of the throat swab... I guess when you look into an almost-three-year-old's throat and see nasty white patches on his tonsils and measure 104.1 degree fever in the doc's office, you just get the poor kid on some drugs as quickly as possible.

On the bright side though, he has been an absolute angel. He's been cheerful and mellow, watching lots of movies but happy to play, too. He's not complained or fussed about anything. In fact, I'd almost go so far as to say he's been more pleasant during his illness than he has been as a general rule these past few weeks. ;o) So at least he's not acting miserable or clearly knocked out or feeling horrible. I'm so glad he's been so good through it all. I'd be so sad if he were clearly miserable.

So that's the scoop. He already got his first dose of zythromax this evening and will be noncontagious by tomorrow evening. So here's praying it stays with him and doesn't spread around to all the rest of the house. Strep can be a nasty, nasty bug if it festers too long... ain't that right, Mary Grace? ;o)

Goose's zoo day

Poor Goose.

We went to the zoo today. We were all thrilled and excited to head out the door. So when Goose said he was cold and I measured his temperature at 100.3, I didn't think it was worth all their disappointment to stay home. 100.3, after all, is in the territory for us of just a minor cold setting in. Besides, he was acting fine and perfectly happy. So I dosed him with some ibuprofen, just in case, and we went anyway.

To the zoo. Over an hour away. On an 85 degree day.

Sigh.

Well, he was totally fine the whole time. I gave him full priority in the stroller and he rode the whole day, but he was pleasant and happy. He had a great time and really enjoyed seeing the lions, penguins and gorillas. Oh, and the jaguar (Because what 2-ish year old boy doesn't love Baby Jaguar from Diego!?). Honestly I pretty well forgot he had even measured a temperature at all this morning.

Then we got home... and as I removed him from the carseat and carried him across the driveway in the 90 degree heat (our town is always hotter than the city) I noticed he felt much warmer than he should after sitting in the air conditioned car for an hour.

Yeah. That would be because he had a 103.7 degree fever... which kept going up until it hit 104.2 at its peak. Now with fresh ibuprofen he's down in the high 102's.

My poor baby! I feel so bad. I have no idea how long his fever has been that high. He really did seem fine at the zoo. Seriously. But the poor guy is just burning up!

Well, anyway my little man is now parked on the couch watching any and every movie he wants until dinner and bed tonight. He's happy and seems perfectly comfortable.

So I'd say that pretty much blows my chances of the Mother of the Year Award. ;o) I can't believe I took a not-quite-three-year-old to the zoo with a 104 degree fever.

OK. Off I go to snuggle with my guy and hope he's feeling better soon. He's such a little trooper.