What Do I Know of Holy?

I heard this song tonight and I was left speechless by the truth I found in it. I felt convicted, comforted, helpless and encouraged all at the same time.

What Do I Know of Holy by Addison Road

I wish I knew how to make a fancy direct link to the YouTube video with the preview pane in my post, but I am pretty sure if you click the link above it will still work.

And here are the lyrics (emphasis mine)... powerful stuff to me tonight.

What Do I Know of Holy?

by Addison Road

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life it's name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

What, indeed, do I really know of Holy? Of Yahweh who created everything from the oceans to the stars to web weaving spiders and light and color and the human eyeball? What indeed do I know of Him?

Some days I think maybe I act like I have it all figured out. Yes, I know God will still mold and shape me. But I know Him. I have found Him. I know the Truth. So I'm good, right? We're good buds, God and me.

But what, really, do I know of Him?

Tonight I am left wondering that...

Not just baby talk...

Two new words were uttered by my sweet Girly Pie today. For some reason, today seem to be the day that she officially decided to move past single syllable (up, milk, no) or repeating sound (mama, buh-buh (brother), nigh-nigh) words and open up to the wide world of multi-syllabic speech.

So in addition to rambling all day long in a multitude of completely unintelligible, yet stunningly adorable strings, Girly Pie did say two very distinct words which I found quite impressive for a girl of 18 months.

First, while reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar to her during some potty time sitting, she repeated enough times for me to be sure it was a word and not a ramble: "bahlluh-billah." Get it? Caterpillar! She's a genius, I know.

And as if that wasn't impressive enough, she later brought me a jar from the pantry (one of her favorite past times in the kitchen) and proudly, and repeatedly, proclaimed, "billah-budduh." Surely you don't need a translation for such a straight forward word. But just in case... it was a jar of peanut butter.

So yes I am laughing at myself in one way, because clearly this is just a proud mommy-moment and no one else in the entire world would have a clue that those were words and not just baby babble.

But those are four syllable words, people! Two of them, in ONE DAY! I was very impressed, and quite proud. She has said them both multiple times today and when you point to the caterpillar or the peanut butter and ask her what they are she will repeat the same rhythm and sounds. And to the trained ear, they are clearly the intended words.

She really is at such a darling age. And today, in addition to her two amazing new words, she really has been babbling up a storm more than I have ever seen her do. It's just the cutest thing ever!

Happy House in the Wet Woods

We haven't read a good, captivating read-aloud in a while, and I forgot how much they ignite the fires of my boys' imagination.

It's been so refreshing to watch them plan out game ideas and plot lines together today as we begin re-reading Little House in the Big Woods (for the zillionth time, no doubt). But instead of JUST reading it this time, we're officially calling it school and reading it alongside some great unit study materials and a plethora of Little House craft, recipe and history books. Today Punky and Finny decided that Laura and Mary each have a brother slightly older than themselves (which coincidentally lands these new-found brothers right at my boys' ages!) and Punky and Finny have both immersed themselves as strapping young men in the Woods of Wisconsin in the 1860's. I know they love these stories. They always have. They listen to them on CD in their room constantly. But to read them all together, them hearing my voice, their hands busy with lincoln log Little House replicas and their attention and imagination set on the same story... it's just so full of joy and homeyness and loveliness that our house is nearly bursting. We've already had several fascinating conversations and have looked just that little bit deeper into that time period than ever before when just reading it for fun. The big boys are both tuning their ears for our vocabulary words and are so thrilled to be the one to hear one read aloud.

I now have the inspiration I needed to plot out a few fun new recipes (already johnnycake has been requested - though I know at least I will hate it!) and crafts and really pack the coming few weeks with great information, activities and games.

School has been going fine for the year so far. Great, really. But I feel so renewed and inspired today as I watch the reaction of my children to something that just rings true and exciting in their worlds today. We've been doing all the basics, and having some fun with some very science based unit studies. But now I think the fun is really about to begin for a while.

Little House through Thanksgiving, and then on to Advent and all that comes with that time for our family. For me, this is the season that makes up the majority of the good "schoolish" memories and feelings.

And I am just SO happy to be here RIGHT NOW!

Perspective

My hubby and I slept in this morning. Together. Both of us. Without getting out of bed until seven. SEVEN. And it was heavenly.

I wonder if my 20 year old self would have believed my thirty year old self if I could have told her that sleeping in until seven would someday feel like a glorious gift.

I doubt it.

Overheard today:

Now, I know it's not the best song in the world, but I loved it as a kid and I turned out fine. So the fact that all three of my boys love it is not shocking. And despite the fact that some of the content is less than appropriate... well, it's just a good song. So I let them hear it and sing it.

So today at our late morning snack time, all three of my boys started spontaneously singing American Pie by Don McLean - all together. They only know the main chorus and one or two of the other parts. But still, how cute is that? So there is Punky, leading the crew in his totally off key and carefree and LOUD voice. Goose is just chanting the main words he knows from the chorus. He's totally on key and on rhythm. Finny is pretty good himself. They are having a wonderful brother moment as Girly Pie looks on in her adoring way.

So, not wanting to miss the chance I whip out the digital camera and flip it to video to record the happy moment. Of course as I start recording the perfect harmony starts to dwindle as kids drop off and actually start eating, but I still catch some of the sweetness.

And just as they end a chorus, everyone has one of those odd moments of complete silence. I was getting ready to click off the record button when I heard Finny begin to make a comment. Not wanting to rudely cut him off, I decided to keep recording until after he finished his thought. I am so glad I did:

All together:

Bye bye Miss American Pie

Drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry.

Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye,

Singin', "This'll be the day that I die,

this'll be the day that I die..."

Silence from all. Then...

Finny:

"Well, yeah, cuz' they were drinkin' ALCOHOL!!!"

And then of course you hear my snickering on the camera. How can you not laugh!?

Yes, Finny my boy. It's always you that says something so deep and hilarious in those random quiet moments.

24 1/2 weeks

That's me as of late last week. ;o)

Just what I needed to hear today...

Psalm 139

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.

You hem me in - behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me, "
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake, I am still with you.

If only you would slay the wicked, O God!

Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.

Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you?

I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.



How can I read that and ever worry that I will not be cared for, or caught when I fall? How can I fear that I am doing everything wrong or not good enough or not doing as well as I see others doing? How can I worry that I am not enough, when God - Yahweh the creator of everything - made me, ME. He didn't make a mold of billions of people and slap us all here on earth to be automated robots, going about our business doing our best to be identical to one another. He made ME, just exactly how He knew He wanted me to be.

So how then can I fear that I am not as good as others? That seems to me as though it would be flying in the face of the Creator - doubting His wisdom in making me just so.

I realize this is one of those overused Bible passages that I suspect most every Christian knows of. But cliche though it may be, it deserves a second glance. It deserves a deep and thorough reading (or two, or three, or twelve!). I can't say I was in a bad place today - but I was most definitely in need of the reminders He gave me through His word in this psalm today.