Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does YOUR garden grow?

(WARNING: What you are about to read is long and rambling and may make no sense to anyone other than myself. Continue at your own risk...)


I sit here not even knowing what to write. My blog has been completely neglected for months (my last post was from our first day of school – we are now halfway through week 12 in our My Father’s World curriculum) but it’s not for lack of good content. On the contrary, actually. There have been so many wonderful happenings in life that it’s a little overwhelming to just pick one to write about.

But I guess that’s kind of the point… Life is good. Life is blessed. Life is beautiful. But life is FULL.

My days start before 6am, and I’m rarely asleep before 11 at night. And Sweet Pea, who will be eight months old tomorrow, is still waking up every two hours through the night. My oldest two sons are in 4th and 2nd grade and we’re doing My Father’s World’s first year of their five-year cycle – Exploring Countries and Cultures - in addition to their math, spelling, language arts (which I admit I pretty much don’t do), etc. Goose (5) and Girly Pie (3) are both what I consider preschoolers and I’m making every effort to actually do SOME preschooly stuff with them every day – some Cubbies verses for our Awana club, reading lessons for 5 year old Goose, some Rod and Staff workbooks, fun sticker books, puzzles, games and lots and lots of play dough. Bug is rounding the corner to two and I just can’t seem to squeeze all our school into his nap time anymore so he is more of an entity this year as well. He is NOT content to just sit happily at the table with a fun activity in front of him. No, he seems to think that school time is the one time of day when he wants, NEEDS Mommy’s full, undivided, direct attention. And he has no problem LOUDLY making this fact known. Of course as soon as I’m not trying to work with anyone else he’s happy to putter about quietly, contently, and independently. Did I mention he’s almost two? ;o) And darling little Sweet Pea naps through some of our morning routine but not all of it. She’s at the age where she is happy to crawl and play sometimes, hungry lots of other times, and wanting to be held and played with the rest of the time. Of course I love doing all these things with all of them - but they often overlap and I have to run triage a bit, so to speak.

And there is laundry and cooking and cleaning and and disciplining and friends to keep up with and appointments to schedule and diapers to change and sewing projects to sneak in and Christmas presents to plan and make and buy… and after all that is mostly done in a day there is of course my husband who still hopes to have a cheerful wife to come home to and enjoy each evening. And sleep is good. I like sleep. I do get some – that’s a good thing.

And the thing is - I LOVE everything I do. I am really enjoying the school stuff with my big boys this year and feel like I’ve really hit my stride for the first time as a homeschooler. I really enjoy the preschool time with my Middles. I really love having a toddler and watching him grow and learn and talk and discover. And having a baby to cuddle and love on is of course a daily joy and blessing. I love having a large family and seeing their relationships blossom and grow. I love my wonderful husband and enjoy the time I get to spend with him. Heck, I even enjoy doing laundry at this point. Crazy, but true.

And did you know I’m a Christian? Did I mention I know God? No? I didn’t mention that, did I?

You see, I do know God. I do know He is there and has handed me every single blessing and good thing in my life. And I love Him. And I am so, so, so thankful. Truly. I do give thanks in all circumstances. I see nothing in my life that I feel anything but thankful for.

But this full life of blessings is still… full. And I find less and less time to actually read the Bible. I pray constantly – all day long really. A constant connection to Him, reaching out all day long. But those long “real” prayers where you write stuff down and seek Him out and lift others up in prayer that I hear tell of – nope. Don’t do that. The kids and I read the Bible together daily for school time – but personal reading time, alone time “with God”? Nope. Don’t do that much at all. Honestly, I even get a little bummed when I hear people speak of a “close personal relationship” with Jesus. I think I know what that is, but I can’t say I have experienced it. I mean, maybe I have. I have felt close to Him. I know I love Him. I know He loves me. I can’t wait to meet Him in heaven and I hope I make Him proud. But close and personal doesn’t quite describe it. Respectful. Loving. Thankful. Honoring… but maybe even just a little bit distant. There – but not quite right HERE. Does that make sense?

I’m just being totally honest here. I’m sure it’ll get all kinds of offensive for someone, or will draw pity or contempt from others. I don’t know. But it’s the truth.

And the thing is – I’m OK with a little distant right now. Is that OK? I feel like I’m supposed to WANT close and personal, and that maybe I’m wrong for not. I wonder if I sound un-Christian to the right sort of people and when I read certain blogs or books that speak of all those things I start to get this sinking feeling that I’m doing it all wrong. That maybe the God I know and love, who loves me through thick and thin and understands when I’m busy living the life He gave me and loves me anyway is not the God that they are talking about. Maybe God is more judgmental and has a higher standard than I thought He did. I start to shrink down into my little cave and feel like I’ve not only failed all the other people out there whom I would consider my peers, but that I’ve failed Him somehow, too. Then I try to do more, shine more, look better, fill in a better Christian “resume,” you know?

And every once in a while He snaps me back to attention and turns my face back up to His and reminds me that I really, truly do not need to earn His love or His Grace. They are both free. Freely given, and His hope is that they will be freely received.


But sometimes when I spend too much time looking around at others I get it all muddled up in my brain and heart. I see the good in them and somehow turn that into an expectation upon myself to do better. Be better. Earn more of His free gifts of love and Grace.

So maybe that’s the distance piece? Maybe I take too much from the Christian culture around me and tell myself I’m distant. He’s distant.

Maybe it’s really OK that my days feel full – in a good way. Maybe it’s OK that I can’t check off the box of Bible reading and quiet prayer time every day (or week, or month, if I’m going to be perfectly honest…). Maybe I can teach and love and make a home for my family without a moment to spare every day – and feel stretched and full but happy and blessed. Maybe He knows that’s where I am today, in this season. Maybe he knows that six children nine and under, with babies 13 months apart means my arms are never empty – no matter what else might need doing.

I’ve heard people describe this stage in life as “running on autopilot.”

But maybe running on autopilot really isn’t the best way to describe it. I actually don’t quite feel like I’m on autopilot. I do feel like I’m so busy living each and every moment that I just can’t stop and ponder each and every moment the way I once could.

Maybe it’s kind of like the old “stop and smell the roses” saying. I am smelling the roses. All day long I smell roses. And daffodils. And lilies. And lilacs. I have a whole beautiful English garden full of lovely flowers to smell. And I love them all. But all I can do in this beautiful garden is walk around and smell the garden as a whole. I can’t really just smell the roses – because the lilacs are so fragrant right next to them. The perfume of the whole garden is beautiful and fills up all my senses. I can see the colors, textures and shapes, the light shining through the leaves and brightening up the colors around me even more. I can smell the fragrance. I can hear the birds chirping and the frogs croaking and the children playing. I can feel the warm sun shining on my face. All of it. Deliciously, all at once. Isn’t that what a garden is all about, after all?

But when I hear someone mention a rose I missed, or a tulip that slipped by unnoticed by me – I start to doubt if I’m doing right by enjoying the garden as a whole. As though I’m doing it wrong somehow.

But then my Gardener reminds me, when I take the time to listen to Him and block out the other garden guests around me, that He planted this garden, and He put me in this particular garden – as full as it is. And really, if He just wanted me to smell the roses, He would most likely have just planted roses for me.

But He didn’t plant just roses. And I like all the color and beauty of the wild, busy garden I’m in. I suspect He knew just what kind of garden was right for me. Those neat and tidy gardens that other people like never did appeal to me. Straight rows of bushes, everything in order, one pretty flowering plant amidst the many evergreen bushes and shrubs, and always so green and always neatly trimmed – but so… predictable. I have always been drawn to the gardens that are so full of color and life and variety that you can’t really pick out just one flower and love it best. You have no choice but to just stand there, in the middle of it, and take in the beauty of the garden as a whole. Sure, there are weeds down in there… but there are so many beautiful flowers to admire that you can’t even see the weeds hiding under them. And some things are overgrown and a bit messy even – but somehow that just adds to the beauty of it all. That has always been my kind of garden. And He knows it – which, again, is why He likely put me in this one rather than those pretty, neat and predictable gardens all around me.

To be perfectly honest there are times that I do get a little overloaded - when I'm so busy in my garden that I miss the smells and sights and sounds for a bit. I won't deny that sometimes I really do wish I could just smell roses every once in a while. After all, once upon a time my garden was small and I did smell only roses - but my roses grew and many more flowers have been planted since then. But I wouldn't give any of the beauty of it up. And I never long for the plain gardens. And I know that if I did just stop and smell the roses only, that I'd very quickly miss the colors and smells of the garden as a whole.

So that’s where I am. That’s why I haven’t written in a while. That's why I forget things and sounds distracted much of the time. I’m not sure I have much worth saying that anyone else cares to hear. But my little garden does need me and I do so love walking around in it, trimming a bit, watering a bit – but mostly just living in it and smelling all those many flowers. And somehow, it’s often hard to find the time to sit here at this computer and get all these wonderful thoughts on record in between piggy-backing nappers and growing children, but it does feel good to see it all written down in front of me.

So I am going to resolve to spend more time in the midst of my life remembering that my Gardener planted me here - and He wants me to enjoy this garden. The full, busy, wild beauty of it all. And I am going to stop comparing my messy, overgrown garden to the neat and tidy gardens that others have. And I am going to try to enjoy the beauty of this garden even more - and not feel guilt over the hidden weeds or the gangly lilacs. That is the hardest part for me... to let go of the guilt that somehow I'm missing something or doing something wrong and that enjoying it is not enough, but rather that I have to earn it. But I am going to remember that this garden was meant as a gift for me. And I am going to remember that my Gardener loves me, and I'm not going to let those neat and tidy garden dwellers make me feel like I'm doing it wrong or messing up His garden. But I also want to remember even more that my Gardener wants to enjoy it with me. SO I am just going to keep on walking through the garden and talking with Him as I do so.

And maybe in another season I'll be able to single out one flower or another to enjoy more thoroughly, or have long, uniterrupted talks with the Gardener - but I think it's OK to be doing it this way for now. I think this little garden is growing well and all of us who live in it are enjoying it immensely. And I think it's really going to be alright.

And maybe, just maybe, I can make a little more time to take notes and write down my adventures. It's been a while... but this was surprisingly fun and theraputic. ;o)

Just another 24 hours...

• Mary Grace from Books and Bairns challenged us to record 24 hours in our homeschooling day for just one day. So I picked today.
  
  Wow. I guess I do more in a day than I realize. Thanks for the idea Mary Grace! This was fun. Sorry if it’s too much detail for folks to read. But I had so much fun recalling the day’s events I just couldn’t cut corners! ;o)
  
  
  
• 3:11am: Poor Little Bug wakes up howling – he’s been sick since Friday night and just isn’t getting well. I gave him Motrin and he went back to sleep. For a bit.
  
• 5:27am: Little Bug is up REALLY howling this time. Starting to wonder if he has an ear infection? Hubby tries to settle him but Bug is up and down from that point on. Not sure if he slept more or not. I tried in vain but didn't sleep a wink more. So tired.
  
• 6:03am: I finally get the hint that Bug is not going back to sleep so I drag out of bed to throw on the comfiest pants I can muster up to my growing belly and the warmest double layer shirt I can pull down over said growing belly. Bug is really screaming now from his crib. I miss when he was not sick and would wake up happily and chat in bed until I could get in to grab him…
  
• 6:10am: Get Bug the bottle he’s desperate for (poor guys is borderline dehydrated with this diarrhea virus he’s had – he’s gone from mostly solids and the occasional bottle to mostly bottles and only snippets of regular food since Friday night). He is still clingy and sad but settles. Girly Pie wakes up while I am feeding Bug, Hubby gets her from her room and she snuggles on the couch with Bug and me. 6:20am: The three big boys all trot downstairs and join us on the couch for a story or two and some snuggles. But Bug is grumpy and doesn’t want anyone else to snuggle with me – besides, there’s no room between the fussing, squirming baby and the growing belly and the whining two year old who apparently has decided it’s going to be her way or the highway this morning – so we leave the big brothers to finish reading Girly Pie her second story and I get up to walk Bug around and start the morning going. I managed to throw a quick lunch together for my Hubby before he leaves for work.
  
• 7:00am: Hubby is gone for work, the boys are all rolling on chores by now and Bug is parked on my hip for the day (I did get him to be happy in the Ergo for much of the day too. Normally he’d be off crawling around and happily exploring his world – but this virus he’s got is just messing with his whole demeanor). I did some morning chores but I forget which specific ones. Laundry probably, and kitchen tidying, a few loose ends for school, helping Girly Pie get her baby dolls adjusted in their various strollers and baby carriers. ;o)
• 7:30am: Breakfast is served – boring old cereal with some kiwi on the side for fun. Finny is on a very strict diet right now after some blood allergy tests revealed issues with dairy, wheat, egg and peanut. At least with cereal I can just let him pick from the safe options and we move on. I’m still trying to get a better grasp of more exciting and healthy breakfast options.
  
• 8:00am: Boys are off to do their after-breakfast chores while I get moving more on my day – laundry, settling poor, sad Bug to his first early nap of the day, playing a bit with Girly Pie, cleaning up the house.
  
• 8:30am: I wanted to vacuum today but Finny volunteered to do it for me, so he and Punky got the rest of the floor clutter picked up and as I ran up and down and all around in my usual morning bustle the floors downstairs became clean – it was like magic! As a reward for being so sweet and volunteering, I let them have some bonus computer time and they played Jumpstart 1st Grade together before school time started. During this time I was able to have a nice little phone chat with my bestest friend Mary Grace. It was a lovely way to start the day. Finny was in a hurry to start school stuff (he was close in our little reward system to earning a trip to the prize box so he wanted to get a few boxes checked off first thing!) so he got right to work with Awana and math.
  
• 9:30am: Starting school later than I like, but the kids were enjoying the computer time and I was enjoying my friend chat, so there you have it. We started with our annual Advent time Jesse Tree Bible reading and ornament coloring. Girly Pie colored her ornament in fully – she has such attention to detail. Goose had no interest at all so he did some sequencing puzzles at the table instead. But we all were together at least. Today was Noah and the flood. Then we moved onto history where we studied Pennsylvania and its beginnings as the second state. Did you know the PA state dog is the Great Dane? And their state bug is the firefly. I think that must be the coolest state bug. Wonder what Washington’s state bug is. Haven’t gotten there yet – we weren’t brought into the union for quite a while.
  
• 10am (almost): Bug wakes up an hour earlier than he should- and he’s sad and cranky and he’s pooped through everything. The boys move onto some independent work while I take care of that. Bug is happy enough to ride in the Ergo while we finish up what we can of school. Punky does math corrections, Awana and some history reading. Finny does his phonics workbook and fixes some math he missed. Then he moves onto a couple of other things but I forget what they were. When Bug is all settled somewhere in there the boys make miniature Liberty Bells out of Styrofoam cups and tin foil. Finny quits early, Punky goes overboard and adds a ton of his own intriguing embellishments. The fun stuff bleeds into the day as he continues to build pirate hooks for himself and his brothers with Styrofoam cups and pipe cleaners with his spare minutes. Girly Pie manages to struggle with all her potty trips today and though she makes it each time she still manages to make a puddle a few times in there, so a few potty clean ups happened in that time. Goose mostly played on his own or with Girly.
  
• 11am: Lunch prep is underway. Finny has been disciplined a couple of times for a bad attitude but has recovered. He’s excited to read to me from his new reading series we’re working through. He’s starting the 14th of the 15 books in the series and his reading confidence and excitement has sky rocketed. He can’t wait to read to me – which is why his attitude stunk earlier because he couldn’t wait through all the other needs his siblings had for his chance to read me his Knight Fight book. But when we read it he did great and can’t wait to finish off the last book later in the week. All the sibs enjoyed sitting in on his reading and he even read one of the previous books aloud to Girly Pie while waiting for my undivided attention. Very cute stuff.
  
• 12pm: Lunch is done (Top Ramen for most of us, gluten free homemade chicken noodle soup leftovers for Finny, and sliced apples. Fancy stuff, I know.) and while I go up to read a nap story to Girly Pie with Goose and Bug along for the ride, Finny and Punky clean up the lunch stuff and finish making some observations in their science notebooks from a recent experiment involving wet bread, dry bread and mold production. As if we need a special experiment to tell us what the results of that would be – but it was fun to watch our bread turn blue anyway – and to not feel guilty that it happened due to my own lack of homemaking skills. ;o) The nap story was a new one from the library and Girly and Goose loved it.
  
• 12:15pm: Bug is restless, so I get him one more mini-bottle since he didn’t eat much lunch, and I read another book to Goose. He loved it. Trying to make more time for my pre-k set – they play so well together and on their own that they often fade into the background more than I like. Just today’s efforts were so rewarding I’ll definitely keep up the time directed at them, even if it’s just a few more book times carved out in the day between big kid school chunks.
  
• 12:30pm: Last bits of school work are finished up before rest, but a few things were missed so some will happen after rest today, which is not our norm. Science starts a study of birds this week – our family loves birds so this is exciting. We discussed warm and cold bloodedness and they found it fascinating. 1:10pm: Bug starts his second nap, big boys begin their quiet rest time. Today I split them up and Finny’s alone while Goose and Punky play together. Trying to let their three way friendship see some different angles – otherwise it’s lately been the two big boys against their little bro – but taking one big boy out of the equation always leaves the other one being friendlier towards Goose. Hope they can work that out soon – I hate to see him always being the third wheel.
  
• 1:10-2:20pm: Kids are all down resting or napping so I get some quiet time. I talked with another close friend about the joys parenting and some other mom type topics. Cleaned the kitchen up and sat quietly for a bit.
  
• 2:30pm: Girly Pie wakes up so we have some mommy/daughter time. We read a book or two and cuddled, tickled and talked before the boys rolled down from rest. It was lovely. Her hugs and her delighted squeals when she has my full attention are just so delightful. I am reminded again of how blessed I feel to have the opportunity to raise a daughter among all my handsome sons. God is indeed so good. Then we all shared in some fun play doctor time (You know, where you listen to their bellies with a toy stethoscope and hear a frog in there so you need to surgically remove it. Isn’t that how everyone plays doctor at their house?) Bug wakes up super sad again from nap, so doctor ends quickly and the kids play for a bit while I settle the poor, sick baby. We pull out my real otoscope and check ears. No one looks like they have an infection, but poor Bug still acts like it.
  
• 3pm: Girly Pie plays a Star Fall letter game on the computer while we do a few last school items (math, Awana verses with Goose, things like that) and Bug is finally happy enough to crawl around and play a bit as long as I am on the floor with him.
  
• 4pm: One last school item to do before the day is through – it’s been on and off school this afternoon, lots of breaks but still finishing a few things up. The highlight of the day though: while Goose and Girly watched a Super Why video on the TV (educational pre-reading show – but Goose was fading as his head cold kicked in. Did I mention that most of the kids seem to be coming down with a nasty cold?) I did music with Punky and Finny. As they colored a picture from the Nutcracker and Bug spun around in the Johnny Jump Up I read a few things aloud and then we listened to snippets from the ballet itself. It was so cute to watch Punky and Finny dance around the family room as Bug spun and jumped and twisted to the music (He was TOTALLY dancing! So sweet!). That was the moment that made all the rough moments of the past week fade away as I remember just why it is we homeschool. My children love each other, and we’re learning about fun things that are really worth our time. The baby likes Tchaikovsky and the big kids think it’s the best thing ever to dance around the room with a baby in a jumper. Girly and Goose soon joined the fun.
  
• 5pm: Dinner is almost lost – we’re out of ketchup which is the main ingredient in my taco meat (sounds gross but it’s really good). Thankfully my friend C is dropping by some library holds she was kind enough to pick up for me (we keep getting sick so I can't even get to the library to grab my holds!) and she was able to grab a bottle of ketchup on her way over to save the day. Yay! And then Bug has another blow out in his diaper. Poor guy!
  
• 5:40pm: Baby is fully clean again, kids are hungry and ready to eat. Dinner is eaten happily by all without a crumb left. Hubby makes it home in time to scarf a few tacos down before he and Punky head out to Punky’s 4H archery club.
  
• 6:15pm: Hubby and Punky head out, Bug gets one last bottle (poor guy won't eat a bite so all I can do is give him bottles to keep him hydrated and fed!), Finny takes over as eldest in the house and leads the way for Goose and Girly. He is so sweet when he’s the big kid on duty! He always thinks of the best games to teach them, even retelling fairy tales and playing parade. So sweet! Again I am reminded of how blessed I am as I watch different dynamics unfold in my family and I see all the beautiful little souls I have been blessed to raise. Poor Bug smells awful from a day full of yucky diarrhea so he gets a bath all by himself while the other three play happily down the hall. He's finally happy after bath and crawls around fora bit before he crashes again. The other three have fun crawling around with him. Cute stuff.
  
• 7pm: Bug is happily in bed, Girly gets her story time, Goose and Finny start a fun brother game in their room. Sweet hugs and snuggles with my girl before bed.
  
• 7:20-7:40: I play Playmobil with Finny and Goose and we video record scenes of the bad guy being brought to justice in the local jail (Finny’s Superman blanket). Then we read If You Give A Mouse A Cookie and I think how much that feels like my life. Especially when I look at the last picture of the happy mouse eating yet another cookie, and the exhausted boy collapsed in a heap of messes all around him. ;o) The boys decide to have a sleep over on their floor so they are in sleeping bags with a flashlight reading books and saying prayers together as I leave their room. SO CUTE!
  
• 7:40pm: Kids are all down, dog needs to potty, once I get settled I sit down to organize some pictures on the computer and type up this 24 hour day. Noticed baby wiggling some while I sat. I feel him or her through out the day, but find very few moments to just sit and "be pregnant." I sure do enjoy those wiggles as they happen, though! 23 1/2 weeks, FYI.
  
• 8:40pm: Chat with Mary Grace about baby bedding (So fun!) while I clean up the kitchen dishes.
  
• 9pm: Hubby and Punky return from archery. I tuck Punky into bed after 9. Late night for him. Then back to work on picture organizing and 24 hour recording again.
  
• 10:27pm: I’m finished now with this 24 record and need to go to sleep. I will head up to bed in a few and hope I get to sleep past 5-something tomorrow. But if not, apparently I can still have a lovely, blessed, full day. Maybe tomorrow I’ll actually squeeze in that Bible time I keep telling myself I’ll do every day. I feel terrible about that - but I really do wonder just where to find that time each day. Sigh. Tomorrow is a new day. ;o)

Life's a Beach

Well here I am sitting in a hotel room in Ocean Shores WA for our annual family vacation to the beach. My five little ones are asleep in the adjoining room behind me and my dad and hubby are off doing guy stuff for the evening so I'm here in the hotel room with nothing but my 6 year old's box of soccer fundraising candy and my hubby's laptop. I have no dishes to clean and no laundry to fold so I thought I'd use my time to do something I find little time to do at home (where there are ALWAYS dishes to wash and underwear to fold!) and post a little something here on my mostly neglected blog. ;o)

So first I'll talk about our first week back at school. We had a really great week - which is saying a lot since more days than not we had one or two sickies floating around the house. On Monday poor Girly Pie had that awful fever, and I think it was Wednesday when Goose was down. Friday was our mellow day with school when we did our first nature walk but Finny ended up getting hit that day. Punky didn't get it until the weekend, but at least they all got it and got over it BEFORE our trip to the beach. Phew. God sure came through on THAT prayer! But even with the breaks for fever checks and vomit and potty runs (oh yes - it was that kind of bug!) we still managed to get everything on our list done for the week. And more than just getting stuff done - the kids and I really enjoyed all that we did! History was fun with some timeline work and a couple of maps. We did a quick overview of Vikings and their discovery of North America and what sick kid doesn't want to watch an hour or two of Nova Viking videos on the couch? ;o) Art was great, science was interesting. It was all good stuff.

I didn't really realize Finny was as sick as he was until after we had already begun our nature walk on Friday - poor kid got home and measured 102 or something awful like that. But he was so cute: On the way to the walk he told me he didn't really want to go and that he didn't think nature walks would be fun. But as he sat there drawing his very detailed sketch of the slug he chose to observe for his object in nature he said to me, "Nature walks are fun. I didn't think I'd like them but I actually do." Cute boy. I realized afterwords that his reluctance to go was mostly due to the fact that he was so sick. But still.

So Week One is finished and I'm looking forward to the weeks to come. I can't say what a blessing it has been to me to see God's hand in choosing our curriculum this year. I had no idea when praying over the coming year what it would really look like for us, but I can already see how much I really needed an open-and-go kind of curriculum. I LOVE the idea of planning each little thing out and customizing each topic to each child's needs and learning styles. But the reality is that I have five children, a house, a husband, a few friends, a church, meals to cook, rooms to clean, the list goes on. And the amount of energy and time it takes me personally to research the educational options, then plot out what to learn and when to learn it, then to study up on the topics enough to know how to even put together a unit on anything we decide to study pretty much takes up all that I have for the piece of my pie I have available to devote to homeschooling. And that doesn't even include the actual time spent TEACHING the stuff to my kids! And I also have to remind myself that all those hours I pour into schooling right now are really only benefitting one of my children, possibly two if you count that I mostly have Finny sit in on Punky's stuff. Of my five kids, only one is really at the age where that kind of education hits home. So my other four (or three if you just lump 6 year old Finny up in the school age category) are left with that much less of me - and they are at ages where they really do still need a lot of me!

So it's no wonder I was feeling burned out by the end of last year. I had put so much pressure on myself to do it all, but I think I had somehow gotten the idea that the only way to homeschool was to do it all like that. But now I can just have my library books ready, do school and enjoy it during the time I've scheduled for school with the two bigger boys, and the rest of my time can be spent reading stories to little guys and watching Little Bug take his first crawling steps and cleaning and cooking - and, you know, sleeping and breathing and actually making eye contact with my husband. Little things like that.

I know the open-and-go style isn't for everyone, and it might not even work for me beyond this year. I'm sure when more of my kids are school-age than not it will be much easier for me to justify all those hours in the day being devoted to that one part of our life. But for now I still feel so blessed that God knew just what would work for us this year and that He so faithfully led me to it when I sought him out in prayer.

So that's school stuff. I might go to bed soon but first I'll just add that we're having a GREAT time here at the ocean! The weather is cool and windy - but it's the Washington coast. I think it's pretty much always cool and windy so we're pretty well used to that. The kids have spent the past day and a half swimming like crazy in the hotel pool and running and digging and exploring the beach and the dunes. No major sand castles have yet been constructed, but they did dig a well and try to fill it with sea water. But you can imagine how well that worked out. At low tide. With two small buckets and one deep hole in the sand. And a little brother filling the well with sand when no one was looking. ;o)

We also found a dead sea otter. My dad laughed out loud after he told me he'd found it. My first question was, "Is it gross-and-nasty-kind-of-dead or go-get-the-kids-and-show-them-kind-of-dead?" Apparently he was thinking like a protective adult, not like a home educating mother of boys. I mean what young boy wouldn't want the chance to see a big sea creature up close, dead or not? And yes, we did go see it. And yes, it was fascinating. And no, it wasn't all old and rotten which is how I could stomach taking them to look. ;o)

So still to come in the week is a trip to the local mini-golf place and a night out at the "fancy" restaurant in town (like an up-class Denny's I'd say, or a low-class Keg) and a whole lot more beach combing and pool swimming. We'll make ourselves sick on fish n chips and continental breakfast waffles and by the time Friday rolls around we'll be cranky, sandy, exhausted and ready to head home - and completely content and refreshed after a wonderfully long week of family fun!

So that's life around here in a nutshell. Hopefully I can post some pictures of the ocean once I get home and clean all the vacation laundry. ;o)

First day scheduling with five...

Hmmm...

Do you ever say to yourself, "I know there is a better way, but... good enough is OK." ?

Today, I'm thinking good enough is, indeed, good enough. ;o)

My day

Today I have:

• showered
• made 5 beds (usually my boys make their own but it was an act of love on my part this morning)
• served breakfast to my family
• done several therapy activity sessions with Finny
• spent no less than 40 minutes in the bathroom with Girly Pie
• spent about 20 minutes in the bathroom (again!) reading stories to Goose for some, uh, quality (stinky) time
• washed two loads of laundry
• changed no fewer than 6 pairs of wet undies and pants
• overseen Punky's first efforts at typing a letter on the computer, to a missionary for his Awana work (how cute is it when you see the word "question" spelled "kwesthin" - even if it does mean a life of spelling trouble ahead for my boy!?)
• cut up and served 3 apples and a pear
• prepared and served lunch to the crew
• read a daily devotional with the boys
• done a quick pop-quiz style math drill at the lunch table with the boys, who were both very impressive in their skills
• presented my precious Finny with his very own real Bible
• read to Finny from said real Bible
• played TONS with Girly Pie
• cleaned two raw eggs up off of the kitchen floor (such a gross job!)
• tucked one little girl in for nap
• settled three sweet boys down for rest
• done Jesse Tree ornaments and readings with my three boys
• eaten food myself three times already today (if you know me IRL you know that's an accomplishment for me!)
• looked through old photos of myself and my Hubby with the kids
• done math with Finny
• been blindfolded by Finny and led by his sweet hand in mine (Punky later took my other hand to assure that his mother would make the trip unscathed) up the stairs to my room, where I found the gift of a stuffed animal and a picture drawn, just for me
• disciplined three little boys for their complete lack of obedience
• laughed inside at the sweet sight of all three of my sons squeezed in, sitting cheek to cheek on the bottom step for a triple time-out, looking up at me with their best "I'm in for it now" faces - all so different, yet all so similar
• watched as all three boys did a complete 180 and became the best listening, most obedient children ever
• praised the Lord for His immense blessings
• begged the Lord for just a little more patience and some guidance
• thanked the Lord for my husband and the recent renewal of our relationship
• cleaned up way too many toys

Still in the plans for the day:

• get dough going for Pizza Night
• decorate our Christmas tree with the kids
• make Fruit Loop garland for said tree
• make homemade pizzas for dinner
• eat said pizza with my family as we enjoy our weekly Friday Night Pizza and Movie night together
• go for an after dinner walk in the brisk cold of the dark evening air with my Man and our children so we can all enjoy the sites of the Christmas lights brightening up our neighborhood
• tuck a few kids into their warm beds for a night of sweet sleep
• enjoy my husband as we sit back after the long, full, blessed day and just bask in the glow of the life we are so blessed to lead.

Happy House in the Wet Woods

We haven't read a good, captivating read-aloud in a while, and I forgot how much they ignite the fires of my boys' imagination.

It's been so refreshing to watch them plan out game ideas and plot lines together today as we begin re-reading Little House in the Big Woods (for the zillionth time, no doubt). But instead of JUST reading it this time, we're officially calling it school and reading it alongside some great unit study materials and a plethora of Little House craft, recipe and history books. Today Punky and Finny decided that Laura and Mary each have a brother slightly older than themselves (which coincidentally lands these new-found brothers right at my boys' ages!) and Punky and Finny have both immersed themselves as strapping young men in the Woods of Wisconsin in the 1860's. I know they love these stories. They always have. They listen to them on CD in their room constantly. But to read them all together, them hearing my voice, their hands busy with lincoln log Little House replicas and their attention and imagination set on the same story... it's just so full of joy and homeyness and loveliness that our house is nearly bursting. We've already had several fascinating conversations and have looked just that little bit deeper into that time period than ever before when just reading it for fun. The big boys are both tuning their ears for our vocabulary words and are so thrilled to be the one to hear one read aloud.

I now have the inspiration I needed to plot out a few fun new recipes (already johnnycake has been requested - though I know at least I will hate it!) and crafts and really pack the coming few weeks with great information, activities and games.

School has been going fine for the year so far. Great, really. But I feel so renewed and inspired today as I watch the reaction of my children to something that just rings true and exciting in their worlds today. We've been doing all the basics, and having some fun with some very science based unit studies. But now I think the fun is really about to begin for a while.

Little House through Thanksgiving, and then on to Advent and all that comes with that time for our family. For me, this is the season that makes up the majority of the good "schoolish" memories and feelings.

And I am just SO happy to be here RIGHT NOW!

Schedules, revisited

Well I never did post the outline of my schedule. That's because A) my schedule left little to no time to sit and do such things on the computer and B) Girly Pie gave me all of three weeks on my beautiful schedule to enjoy it before she decided that she did not, in fact, need her nap from 9-11am as I had planned around, but rather that she would now be awake until 11 when I had planned on having free time for the boys. So instead of napping during school time, she decided to nap smack between the two planned school times in the day. School was from 9-11 and from 1-2:30. Little Miss Girly Pie suddenly found her toddler nap groove from 11am to 1pm. Not such a good fit.

So after a couple of weeks of fumbling around with the mornings with all four kids and trying to see what I could fit in and where, I finally sat down last night and put together a new schedule. It's a little tighter and a little more structured than my last one. But it does allow for some toddler-free school time, as well as some carefully planned one-on-one (or two) time with me and the kids. This newer version also leaves less free time for the kids, which means less floating time for me - but it adds a short window where I am free from all four kids, which the old schedule lacked. So hopefully it balances out.

And of course in about four months when Sweet Baby #5 enters the picture, I'll be back to square one anyway. But hey, hopefully I can get more than three weeks out of this one and find out just what I need to do to make a new one work out with our new needs.

So now our days (should) look something like this:

• 6-7a Wake, free, Mom dressed & downstairs by 7
• 7:00 Brushing & OT (mellow) w/F
• 7-8 AM chores, F set table, make & start eating BREAKFAST
• 8-9 Finish breakfast, P kitchen, Mom chores & laundry, L & F rooms tidied, all free when done
• 9:00 Brushing & OT (heavy work)
• 9-10 P Story of the World CD with Legos in his room, F free for quiet self directed play, Mom play/activity/early preK time w/G & GP
• 10-11 P independent school work, F school/work/games w/mommy, G & GP directed play or quiet free
• 10:45 SNACK for all
• 11:00 Brushing & OT (heavy work or mouth), GP nap starts
• 11-11:30 P free or directed play, F & G school/games w/Mommy
• 11:30-12 P w/mom for lesson time (language, spelling, other) or games, F & G quiet directed play
• 12-12:30 LUNCH, family devotional
• 12:30-1 P kitchen, tidy L & F rooms, F OT w. Mommy, rests start for all boys
• 1-2:30 all boys rest, Mom free til GP wakes up, then Mom/GP time til boys up
• 2:30-4 SNACK for all, then unit study time for Mom, P & F (crafts, activities, reading, some directed play), G & GP free/directed play
• 4-4:30 P play w/GP, F & G w/Mommy for kitchen helper or games
• 4:30-5 boys all free, GP w/Mommy in kitchen or doing chores
• 5:00 Brushing & OT
• 5-5:30 P tidy family room then read his book, F & G set table and help, GP w/Mommy
• 5:30-6 DINNER
• 6-6:30 Bed chores, P kitchen, G & GP baths or quiet play
• 6:30-7 G & GP stories & bed
• 7:00 Brushing & OT (calm, quiet)
• 7-7:30 P & F stories & bed
• 8:00 Lights out for any boys reading in bed

I know it looks like a lot in list form like that. But most of the directed play just means the kids don't roam free, I just get to direct them as to what game, toy or activity they are using during that time. Also, all of Finny's brushing and OT stuff we need to do about every two hours, so that's just getting to be habit and routine now. The big change is that instead of school being done before rest and afternoon, we now have a big chunk of school in the post-rest time. I will need to see how that works for us all. I admit I enjoy the free afternoons, but life with more and older children means changes need to be made. So we'll see how it goes. I hope that it will lessen the chaos and busy-ness of afternoons and evenings, while lending to a sense of direction and purpose in the play that they do have. And obviously there will be exceptions. We'll have play dates and outings and errands and field trips. In which case we just stick to the morning plan and keep Girly Pie's nap and let the rest and afternoon stuff slide. I'm all about flexibility, and with 2nd grade and under, I really have little guilt about having a day slide with only half of our intended school accomplished for a day. After all, I am comforted by the thought that in just our morning time alone we're likely doing more learning that a whole day of government schooling could accomplish. So really, in the big scheme of things, not a bad deal.

So there you go. Day 1 of Plan B has gone OK, but not right on schedule. Part of that is all the extra time put in with training and disciplining a certain Mr. Finny through his difficult transition period (how much time can one boy spend in a day whining and being sent to the stairs for YET ANOTHER time out!?). Part of it is helping all the kids learn that the new times are meant for something specific and not just play time.

But all in all, I feel the potential with this new plan is good. I'm sure there will be tweaking. And as I said I know if nothing else we'll need a whole new plan in a few months. But for now, I am happy to have a rhythm to my days again, and I hope that the structure brings us all back to that happy place we had for the few weeks we had the set times with Girly Pie's nap lining up with our school time.

In talking with Mary Grace on the phone this morning (only allowed between 8 and 9am, mind you!) she commented that she had noticed a change in my mindset and attitude towards our family's structure and what we do with our days. I'm paraphrasing there, but I have to say that I think she's right. I have felt a change and a commitment to finding a rhythm to our days that brings glory to God and accomplishes for us all in a day what He would like to see us doing. I no longer feel the freedom I once did in a day without boundaries. I feel trapped instead by that lack of structure. And knowing the person I have always been, I know for sure that I did not stumble across such a shift in perspective by my own doing. I do see God's hand in our days now, and I do feel His presence and His voice leading me in my attempts to make the most of the days I have been blessed with as wife, mother and teacher in this family.

So here's to a good day, not even over yet - and to the hope of a good tomorrow, as well!

Caves and swords and pretzels, Oh My!

I've been a little behind on posting about our school stuff, but that's only because it's going very well, and my time is spent planning and doing stuff with the kids, so I have very little computer time these days.

And I spent all day hiking for a big field trip (I love school days on Sunday!) for our caves and caverns study which we finished up over a week ago, so I'm heading to bed in a minute and can't post much now!

But we are currently doing a little study on the history of weapons. My Punky has loved weapons since long before he could talk. I wondered what I had done wrong as I watched my precious 7 month old son banging and beating on everything in the house with any object he could lift in his hands. He loves sticks, swords, bows & arrows, axes, spears... and guns (though I personally have a very strong dislike of guns and we do not allow toy guns in the house, nor do we let the boys play with them elsewhere, much to Punky's dismay).

So just for fun I thought we'd study something I KNEW he'd not only love but be completely and utterly enamoured with. And so we are. And he is indeed smitten.

We're doing it on a very basic level, just hitting the main weapons with a mild overview of the historical timeline from the stone age to now and only stopping to focus on those that grab out interest... Vikings, castles, likely a few more modern wars... We're also doing a little overview of simple machines and I look forward to seeing what my Little Engineer That Could will come up with in his spare time for creations. The boy has already made a stunning array of weapons over Week 1. I can only imagine the fun to come...

We also ordered a little wooden trebuchet kit, so the boys will be surprised and delighted when that comes in the mail and we tackle that puppy! I know they'll be inventing their own trebuchets and catapults to go with the real kit, but it was still a fun treat! And my hope is to whip up a batch of pretzel dough one day this week and let them make little pretzel swords and daggers (and guns, I'm sure) for snack. I'm pretty sure that will be almost as big of a hit as the trebuchet kit!

So that's where we are. The other non-unit study basics are still going well for Punky. The little boys are having fun learning together. Finny is doing really well with his current OT activities. Girly Pie is changing her nap time on me which is making me jump around a bit on my happy little schedule, but we'll get in a new groove soon enough. And I'm enjoying my time with them all more then ever!

Who could ask for anything more?

Oh, and the boys will start reading a slightly modified (shorter and cleaner) version of The Three Musketeers this week with their Daddy.

It's going to be a busy house around here... I wonder what they'll think of next to use as swords. ;o)

Intentions

So with all the big, fun efforts I have been putting into our "big kid" school... I have to laugh that today, the two minute prep I put into a little guy project to keep mostly Goose and partly Finny occupied for the last 20 minutes of our school time turned out to be WAY more exciting for both Finny and Punky than anything else I had planned for them this morning!

After watching Finny and Goose wander off towards making Zoob diving gear, I was inspired to do a quick letter D craft. The craft is just to make a big D and then "dot" it with Q-Tips dipped in paint. ("duh-duh-Dotty D") Fun. Simple. Educational. Perfect for Pre-K and K. So while we were doing the D's, Finny asked why we were doing D, and I said that diver starts with D, and since they liked divers so much, I thought it would be fun to do the letter D.

Of course he immediately wanted to make a little construction paper diver, which of course sent up Punky's radar and he was right there ready to give up a bit of free Lego time to join in on the paper diver fun. So I threw out some quick constructing paper body parts and a pack of brads and let the big boys go to town. Goose happily wandered off after 10 minutes of poking a Q-Tip into paint blobs and dotting his construction paper D's. He had no interest in making a paper diver at all.

So there you go. One of the many joys of homeschooling with multiple aged children around. You just never know what you'll do, or what they'll find the most joy in doing.

Fun times!

Just two seconds before I need to go back to the action...

But it's Thursday of Week One of our unit studies, and it's going GREAT!!!

We're doing a study on caves and caverns, and the kids are really enjoying themselves. There is so much we could explore, but with only aiming for the kindergarten and second grade levels, I'm keeping things fun and simple. They are getting info, but not an overwhelming (read: boring) amount of it.

So far this week we've: read a great kids book on caves and caverns, learned about the different types of caves and how they are formed, discussed both the evolutionist and creationist theories of how limestone caves were formed, learned about many different types of limestone cave formations, explored the internet for pictures of caves and cave paintings, learned specifically about the Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico, formed our own clay and sugar cube versions of limestone caves (we'll finish them soon and watch the sugar "limestone" dissolve leaving behind solid clay) and made our own cave paintings on rocks. And that's just been since Tuesday! We still have cave animals to discover, bats to study, a real cave expedition to undertake... and so much more!

So I have to say that between the interest led unit we're doing and the schedule allowing me to make specific times in the day to do our activities, it's really going great.

OK. Back to cave painting. I think Miss Girly Pie is tiring of her play-dough distraction while the boys paint. Time to entertain the baby. ;o)

Time

Time.

60 seconds in a minute. 60 minutes in an hour. 24 hours in a day. 7 days in a week. 52 weeks in a year.

It is what it is and it doesn't change – at least it hasn't in my lifetime.

And yet, it can feel so very different from one day, one month, one season to the next. Some days you wonder how you will ever make it to dinner time, and other days suddenly it’s 20 minutes past your normal dinner hour and you look up and wonder in amazement, “Where did the day go?”

A few weeks back I felt like I had so very, very much to do and so very, VERY little time in which to do it all. I felt robbed of all that I wanted to do and overwhelmed with all I HAD to do. It was a funny mix of “Where did the day go, I’ve hardly done a THING!?” and “How can I possibly survive until my Hubby gets home? This day is taking forever!”

A few months from now, I may very well be back in that same spot. But right now, at least for the past two weeks or so, I suddenly see so much potential for my time, and suddenly it seems everything is falling neatly into place each day.

Suddenly, the time I have been blessed with each day seems perfectly matched to the tasks which lay before me.

Right now, in this particular stretch of time (and I can only pray this “stretch” lasts for a LONG time!) everything lines up. And each moment of each day, from my always too-early seeming wake up to my always too-late feeling plop into bed, feels rewarding, challenging, fun and... right where I want to be.

I know most of the difference is my own perspective and attitude. Honestly, since Girly Pie’s emergency room adventure a couple of weeks back, my eyes have definitely been on my Maker to take care of me and carry me through my struggles rather than on my own lack of ability to get through them. My eyes have also been back on Him with an attitude of thanks for the blessings I have been given, rather my view of my blessings being blocked by the obstacles of life and my own negativity and fears.

And I’m pretty sure that just that shift of focus has made the most difference in how I have felt since then. I feel God has blessed that shift in focus back to Him. I'm looking back where He wanted me to look, and I do feel He's pleased with that.

There is something else though, too. In addition to changing where my focus is (or maybe because of that change?) I’ve also felt more driven and inspired in working out a daily routine that better fits our family’s needs.

I’ve tried and failed so many times before at schedules and routinesmore times that I care to count let alone admit out loud. Really, to tell the truth, I hate schedules. I go into them kicking and screaming, and usually run right back out the same way. And there is absolutely no guarantee that this time will be any different.

But, at least for the moment, this time does feel different. This time, I really can feel God's hand in how our days are going. I actually feel like He gave me the the inspiration I have been desperately seeking and revealed to me how He knew our days would best be spent.

I can see my days in chunks and I know what will fill those chunks. I have been shown what has been lacking, and those gaps are being filled daily now. I feel guided and structured, but not restricted and confined.

Sure, I have much less “me time” than I did before, but somehow the time I do find to be free and mine is getting better used and I appreciate it more. Instead of sneaking in little snippets here and there at the computer or at finishing the smaller tasks around the house left undone, I see now how I was taking away from the more important things I want to do each day. I also see that while I was constantly multi tasking every moment of every day, I was never really fully in any given moment or task. I was always only semi-present. And so I missed the joy in most of what I did.

And now I am so very much enjoying my days, even though I am doing so much more than I was before! And yet, I feel like I have MORE time than I did before.

It's amazing really.

Maybe I’ll post the skeleton of my daily schedule/routine another day, but the meat and potatoes of the plan is not really my point today. My point is just that time never really does change, but what you do with it, and the attitude and perspective you have during the time you are blessed with, really does make a huge difference in how your time is passed, and in how you feel in each moment you have.

Or at least that’s my thought on the matter. For the moment, anyway.

It's working!

So I know many homeschoolers are in full school swing by this point in August, but we here are just starting to get slowly back into the groove. My biggest goal for the weeks I consider "warm up time" is to see what kind of daily schedule I can work out for us all.

I want to fit in the basic, and mostly independent, school stuff for Punky and have been trying out a few different methods to see how he can best know what he needs to accomplish during this time on his own in the day. So far, though we've had some days when he is clearly not all there and plugged in (he is a seven year old boy - I would expect no less!), he seems to be getting the hang of just setting to work and getting his independent work done quickly and efficiently, with much less tendency to be distracted than when we started.

During this time when he is productively occupied, I am also trying to figure out how I can best use my time elsewhere. Should that be a time to get all my household duties done? Would that make a good pre-k time for Finny and Goose? Should I make it a mommy-daughter time with Girly Pie before she has her nap? I'm not sure yet... but since GP's nap is in transition from two medium naps a day to one longer one, she's still not a concrete person to count on at any particular time in the day yet, so I am leaning towards chores or pre-k time.

I also want to make a time in the day (hopefully while GP is asleep) when I can dive into the fun stuff with P and F. We'll be doing some unit studies, though I do not want to make them super-duper academic. I want that part of our schooling to be fun, exciting, mentally stimulating but not overly taxing - and really the part of the day we all look forward to the most. So having one less distracting little one around is a good fit for that. That will be the time when we do related crafts, science experiments and any bigger games or activities involved with our topic of study. I might also do the reading on the topic then, but I'm not sure.

And of course I need to make sure I'm available every two hours to be heading up the OT exercise for Finny, so I'll need to fine tune what the others are doing during those short but important times when he and I work together. Distraction is particularly hard for Finny to work through, so I am learning way s to have others occupied so he and I can find those 5-10 minute times to just focus on our work (it's harder than it sounds in a house with four young children to keep the other three from distracting one in particular)

The other key to our new days is learning how to keep everyone directed, even when I am not personally involved with each of their activities. I am learning the art of assigning and rotating activities for all three boys - even just fun, simple stuff like Duplos, playdough, blocks and magnets. Instead of letting them roam freely in between set work times, choosing those same activites or others as they please, I want to have more of the day structured where they are focused on specific kinds of activities, though still mostly playing (since they are still so young!). The focus and direction is mainly for Finny, since his therapist has encouraged me to minimize his completely free-range time, as he tends to lose his self regulating ability when left to his own devices for more than a few minutes. This new kind of directing and rotation is not really my natural approach to things, so it's been a bit of a slow learning curve, but I am finding fruit in it for all of us, and as I get more accustomed to it, I think it will suit us well over the coming years.

So all this to say I have a lot to finagle into our days, and that's really not even including basics like meals, most household work, one-on-one time with any of the kids... and many other very important things. But it's a good start, and we're finding some ways that work - and some ways that don't!

But today, it really went beautifully for the morning, even though we got off on a late start. We had a false wake at 4:40 from Miss Girly Pie and though we all fell back asleep, we were slow moving when we did wake up. Then our aging dog surprised us with a nice smelly mess in his kennel this morning, so among other things, we just had a lot to do before we could really get moving this morning. So I was sure all the school/schedule stuff was going to be a wash this morning. But Punky, though late to start, cruised right through his independent work with not a lick of help needed from me, Goose happily spent his free time playing nicely with Finny, and I was able to finish the morning work later than usual and to put GP down for nap, again later than usual. But when I came down from GP's nap routine, I found Punky sitting at the work table diligently plodding away at his math book, and right across from him was happy, "just right engine" Finny, who had decided this looked like the perfect time to pull out his reading lesson and begin going through it on his own.

Normally we do that together, and it is not something I am at all looking to have him do independently. (what's the point of homeschooling if I can't even be the one to sit down and watch my kids learn to read!?) But I was just so tickled to see that with all the effort I've been putting into our mornings, it seems the idea of working and staying on task with productive efforts seems to be setting in. The fact that instead of coming down from the nap routine to find Punky distracted by Finny's play time with Goose, I found Finny drawn into the quiet table time. I guess it's time to find at least one or two kindergarten-ish workbooks so that Finny can have something to do for his own "work" time, since he clearly would like something of that nature to call his own.

And that is something I hope to see more of in the coming years, though I know there will still be many a day (month, year...) of finding the workers distracted by the players, I do hope that we will see more and more of the players joining in on the more directed learning experience.

So it is working. My children are learning routines and self direction. They still have plenty of time to play in the day, and much of their directed time is still spent in just doing simple activities that they enjoy, with none of the three R's covered through the process. But they are learning something through it all.

And so am I!

Five.

Five.

It’s a pretty great number, isn’t it? I’ve never really thought about it too much, but really, it’s very nice.

We have fingers on each hand and five toes on each foot. Each number on a clock face counts for five minutes. Five is half of ten, which in a base ten number system, makes it pretty useful. It’s an odd number. It’s a prime number. It’s a Fibonacci number. It’s a great age – they are suddenly so big, so aware – and yet still so small and sweet at the same time. It’s two pairs and a single. Five arms on a sea star (or most stars for that matter). Five petals on a flower (at least most flowers drawn by little hands). Five love languages. Five star restaurants. On a scale of one to five.

And then there are the many wonderful uses in literature and music. Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed. Five Little Ducks Went Out to Play. Five Little Monkeys Swinging in the Tree (teasing Mr. Alligator, “Can’t catch me!” – you know that one, right?). Five Little Peppers and How They Grew (great book). One of my husband’s favorite five allusions… Johnny Five is Alive. Remember that one? ;o) Five Litte Fishies Swimming in a Pool. Five Bears in the Bed.

The list goes on.

Five. It is indeed a nice number. It’s not a number I’ve ever really given much thought to before. I’m usually more of an evens girl myself. I like equal pairs, normally. They just fit nicely in my moments of more linear thinking.

But five is growing on me. I like the idea of it being one more than two equal pairs. Being a little odd is a good thing, after all. One hand full.

Five.

So… Any curiosity as to why I have this sudden fascination with the number five?

Any guesses? Anyone?

Well. I am currently pondering and admiring the number five… because in about 6 months I will be the proud mama of five little blessings.

Yep. We’re expecting another little one, due to arrive in early February, 2010.

It’s a little surprising (though not terribly so…) and a lot humbling. It’s slightly intimidating and hugely honoring. I cannot believe we are being blessed again with a new little person to love, guide and encourage. I get to meet that new little life, and be the first one to hold them in my arms. I get to memorize the face of another little being. I get to see God’s fingerprints all over the creation of another of His most precious creations – a new son or daughter, made in His own image.

I really cannot even find the words to describe all the thoughts that go along with this exciting experience.

I know that for many, five children are A LOT. I get constant comments in public places about how full my hands are as it is, so I can only imagine the looks and comments that are to come with 5 little ones all under the age of 8. But to me, that’s really not at all what it’s about. I do feel like I have less time to just sit around and dream about this new little baby to come than I have with the others. And I have been through pregnancy and birth four times before, so I can’t exactly say I am surprised by the stages and sensations that come along with this precious time of life. But it is still no less miraculous, no less awe-inspiring to consider.

When I sit down and take a moment to consider how far this little life has already come in the 14 weeks of his or her existence, I am amazed all over again, just as I was the first time I pondered these same thoughts 8 years ago while pregnant with Punky. And to think that in six short months we will be welcoming a new son or daughter into our family, a new name to love, a new face to cherish, and new little soul to meet and become acquainted with… well, I really am constantly in awe of God’s power to bring two half cells, just barely large enough for the naked eye to see, together and create from them a perfect little life.

So, clearly it’s not old news to me to do this “all over again.” It’s familiar, it’s comfortable… and it’s still exciting and amazing and lovely.

And I get to have five little wonders to raise and love! Wow.

And they get to grow up together – five of them – as siblings in a big, happy, blessed, uneven and quirky family.

(And, just as a side note, I get to learn how to educate two children while still having three little ones to also love, raise and entertain… it’s going to be an interesting year around here, to be sure.)

So there you go. The joys of five. I can hardly wait! (But really, I’ve got A LOT to do before February… so I CAN actually wait just fine. That is one very big difference from my first pregnancy to my fifth!)

Creation? Evolution? What does it matter, after all?

I may reveal myself as the totally uneducated and uninformed Christian that I am as I divulge the following information here… but I feel compelled to post this just on the off chance there might possibly be other people out there who know as little about the subject of evolution versus creation as I did.

Or maybe I might possibly offend you if you hold views other than those which are presented here.

But I’m willing to take that chance. Because I wish someone else had told me this stuff years ago.

So here goes.

I grew up in the government public school system and though I was raised with a basic Christian upbringing, I never really took the biblical account of creation as the whole truth. But I never really believed that we evolved from some cosmic sludge fifty bazillion years ago, either. As I went through school, I clearly recall the evolutionary model being presented as pure fact – just minus a few key missing links that the text books and scientists were sure to find sooner or later. Every museum I went to, ever book I read, every kids movie I watched, every dinosaur picture book I ever flipped through… it was all there in black and white… billions and billions of years ago, the earth was formed. Somehow, some way… we’re not quite sure how, maybe Big Bang, maybe something else. But that’s not important. But we do KNOW that the earth is gazillions of years old.

And as a Christian (sort of – but not quite scripturally raised) I just knew it wasn’t quite right. But it also seemed a bit farfetched to think that the earth was really created just 6000 years ago in six short days. I mean, the sun wasn’t created until day 4, so maybe a “day” could mean just about anything. And after all, scientists had PROVEN that the rocks on the earth were really, really old. So something wasn’t quite right.

And the whole world wide flood thing? Who knows? I mean maybe the Bible wasn’t LYING per se, but it could be figurative – or it could mean the whole local area of the world that was populated at that time in history.

So fast forward a decade or two and here I am, a full adult Christ follower since 2005, home educating mother of now four children. In my own path as an adult, Christ has revealed to me that the Bible is the truth. Period. I know I do not understand every word of it, and I know that there are parts that might be left out or hidden as part of God’s plan. But I do not believe the scripture is fallible. I just can’t buy that He’d leave behind his one and only physical connection to the generations of people to come after His time on earth and let it get so tainted that His people could be lost for the rest of eternity. It just is TRUE.

But I’ve still been stuck in the same old mindset. Is there a “gap” somewhere in the creation account? What happened between the time when God created Adam and Eve and the moment they ate of the fruit of knowledge of good and evil? Maybe billions of years did pass before they sinned.

But what it really has come down to for me over the past 4 years is that it didn’t matter. I don’t know it all. God does. And that’s OK with me. If He wants me to know just how and when He created everything on earth, He’d tell me when I get to heaven. I’m really OK with that. After all, science is science, and though the Bible must be true, I’m neither a biblical scholar nor a geologist. So I’ll just leave the “knowledge” to others and I’ll stick with faith. And when my kids ask, I can just tell them that no one really knows, even scientists, and it’s all just a guess. But the Bible does say it happened this way, so we can just go with that.

So here is the part where you may be thinking, “Man, what a dummy you are, Benny. Have you never picked up a creation science book or article? Do really not know how this whole thing works?” But bear with me here. This is going somewhere…

So I went to this great Christian homeschooling conference a month or so back and really got so much out of it just in hearing the speakers. But I also stumbled across the Answers in Genesis booth and spoke with a very fascinating man named Mike Riddle. He’s a scientist and a math whiz and a whole long list of other things… but in a nutshell, he’s a very smart and well educated guy.

And the nice Mr. Riddle has a very lovely pack of DVD’s that I ended up buying. I do not normally just buy things like that, but somehow it just felt like something our home needed. I’m not exactly sure what the name of the DVD series is called, and each of the six DVD’s has a different name. But basically it’s a whole set of DVD’s with tons of scientific support and evidence for God’s creation – and a whole lot of discrepancies and falsehoods brought forth in regards to the evolutionary model.

Did you catch that? There are actually major holes in the theory of evolution. MAJOR HOLES.

OK. So I could go on for pages and pages here. I mean there are six DVD’s all an hour+ long just in the one series I purchased. But I have been just awed and amazed at the amount of true scientific evidence supporting both the six day creation about 6000 years ago, as well as the Genesis flood, which would have been about 4000 years ago. Fossil formation. Faulty dating methods. Sea fossils found on mountain tops. Observable evidence from recent earthquakes, floods and volcanic eruptions that make in just days geological changes once thought to have taken thousands or millions of years. The list goes on and on.

My faith has been strengthened by just the two movies I’ve watched so far. And more than that… my husband, who I might have mentioned is not actually a believer, has really been enjoying the series. It has not proven anything to him, but it has really opened his eyes to some major untruths that have been presented as solid fact, and so far he has not been able to argue any of the points Mr. Riddle has made supporting scientific evidence for the Creation account. My Man has even said that if a created earth 6000 years ago were proven beyond doubt, that he would probably be a full believer. That evidence alone would be enough to make the whole rest of the Bible just be true for him.

That is the power that scientific evidence can hold to so many out there who have doubts about Christ and Yahweh the creator. And the DVD’s make so many good points about how Christians who show that same lack of understanding and faith in the creation account that I had can often undermine the faith, because people who do not yet believe see us as inconsistent… if we can’t even prove and support what our Bible says about how the earth was made, why and how can we believe any of it?

So anyway. This is the DVD set that I bought. And it was worth every penny of the $39.99 I spent on it – and I’ve only watched a third of the set so far! I just feel so happy to know that I do not have to disprove science to show that my God did make the world and that His Word is true. True science actually supports God’s creation. And I just think that’s so cool! And honestly, I’m a little peeved at the textbooks and schools that present everything else as hard, solid fact… when it’s really just as faith based as creation… they just have faith in time and chance, whereas we have Faith in a one true Creator of everything and everyone. I think I’ll take my chances on that Faith, thank-you-very-much. ;o)

My Day

Today I (in no particular order):

• baked a quadruple batch of banana bread muffins
• froze about two dozen muffins and almost that many mini-muffins for suture snacking
• washed and dried 6 loads of laundry
• folded four of the aforementioned laundry loads
• got math, language and reading done for Punky and Finny
• learned a bit about Roman gladiators with Punky and Finny
• fed 6 people 3 full meals
• made a quick solo run to the library to pick up holds (Hubby was home with nappers)
• showered (not always as easy to get done as it sounds!)
• was woken at 4:30am by a cranky, tired little girl who refused to go back to sleep
• changed 4 poopy diapers
• bathed two of four children
• kissed no less than four owies better
• found time to cuddle with my Man
• read a bit of the Bible (not as much as I wanted to - But Girly Pie was busy trying to sit on said Bible, so I gave up)
• emptied the dishwasher
• oversaw morning chores
• washed the kids' bathroom counter and toilet
• got all four kids dressed! (though boys 1 & 2 do that on their own now...)
• tidied the kitchen and family rooms
• put away the Littles' clean clothes (also something that often sits around waiting to be done)
• read books to all four of my children
• enjoyed a few conversations with Mary Grace over the phone
• stripped and washed our sheets
• put the sheets back on our bed (hours before bedtime even! I think that's a record for me...)
• remembered to take the dog out to potty
• marveled as my baby girl mastered walking all over the downstairs, even crossing the entire kitchen and dining area without falling once
• snuggled and tickled Goose because he's so edibly adorable and chunky!
• found time for snuggles and some one on one time with each of my four kids at different points in the day
• got about 5 OT activities done with Finny
• played Jacks for the first time with my boys
• helped Finny finish his pop-up birthday card for Girly Pie
• played a couple of levels of Super Mario Bros 3 (the one from 15 +/- years ago!) with my Man and the big boys during their short Daddy hang out time this afternoon
• managed to stay awake despite the 5 hour night sleep I had - and never really even felt tired (once I was up and moving, that is...)
• carried Girly Pie around for the vast majority of her waking hours
• wiped several runny noses repeatedly
• encouraged discouraged boys
• rescued a damsel in distress on multiple occasions (every time she climbs on anything - which is always - she gets stuck there!)
• taught Girly Pie two new hand signs

Tonight between now and bed I hope to:

• fold the last two loads of laundry in the house
• do a final tidy on the whole downstairs
• stuff the pinata for Girly Pie's birthday party
• watch the rest of our Creation vs. Evolution DVD from Answers in Genesis with my Man
• be in bed and lights out by 10:30 (if I'm lucky...)

So there you go. And here I thought I wouldn't get anything done with Girly Pie's very sad, very nap-challenged, very teething and cranky day. It's amazing how accomplished you feel just by looking at what you do each day on paper. And I know there are a zillion other little things I did today that didn't even register in my mind when I sat down to write the day out here. It does feel good to feel like I actually did something today!

This will be the day that I dye...

OK, so I know it’s already Thursday night and that Easter is only three days away… so it is technically a little late to be posting about a really great Easter craft with any hope of anyone actually having time to accomplish it before Easter.

But I found a really cool Easter craft. And I just have to post about it!

So we dye Easter eggs every year – and though I think there might be some pagan roots somewhere in the egg dying tradition, it is one of those childhood memories that just make me feel a little too warm and fuzzy to drop. We most definitely put the focus on Jesus and His death and resurrection at Easter time (well, all year really…), and our kids don’t really even know who the Easter Bunny is. I think if you asked them who the Easter Bunny was, they’d likely tell you that it’s Mary Grace’s kids’ rabbits – on Easter. But we do give little gift baskets, we do a little egg hunt, and we do dye Easter eggs. So there you go.

Usually I just buy the little box kit of egg dyes and we go at it sometime the week before Easter. Sometimes I forget to have eggs on hand, so we do it late. One time I forgot to hard boil the eggs before we dyed them. (Just FYI, boiling eggs AFTER you dye them just washes the dye right off. And then you can’t re-dye them. In case you were wondering…) But in general, that’s what we do.

This year though I was inspired by a little book I got at a library sale a few years back. The book is called The Mudpies Activity Book: Recipes for Invention by Nancy Blakey. It is a great book, and there are ton of activities I plan to do over the years. But the one I’m talking about is the natural Easter egg dyes.

It just looked like fun, and I’m all for crafty stuff like that. I know for sure that I would have LOVED for someone to sit down with me and chop up fruits and vegetables to boil down into a real dye. I haven’t a clue what’s in those fancy dye tablets you get in egg dye kits. Honestly, I’ve barely ever even wondered. So how cool would it be to actually make your own dye?

Well, being the big kid that I am, I figured that even if my kids didn’t enjoy the whole project, at least I would. So I set myself a few reminders on my little email program to make sure I had the right ingredients at the right times (I found the recipe months ago, and knew I’d forget to do it if I didn’t set myself an electronic reminder. How lame is that!?). And, lo and behold, I was set and ready to go come this week!

So after a busy start to the week, today was The Day… and my kids were so excited. To make matters even more exciting, we had done a craft earlier in the week with some friends and had made little clay birds’ nests – so the big boys were so excited to fill their little nests with naturally dyed eggs.

So here is a little step-by-step of our very, very, VERY fun project – pictures and all…

The ingredients you’ll need to make the three colors we made are water, vinegar, 2 cups each of blueberries, chopped beet root and yellow onion skins. Oh, and eggs for dying, of course. ;o)

So we first chopped up the beet root and got the onion skins peeled.

We used frozen blueberries that we had on hand for the blueberry dye. I had everything measured out and ready to go.

We only had two of the right sized pots, so we had to piggy back the different colors, but the basic process was to pour 2 ½ cups of water (4 cups for the onion skins) and two cups of the chosen material for dying into a pan.

Then you bring the pot to a boil. Once it’s boiling, cover it and reduce the heat to let it simmer for 20 minutes.

After 20 minutes, we poured the dye and the ingredients through a sieve into a heat proof container where we left it to cool. I just threw away the mushy beets, blueberries and onion skins, but I suppose if you’re really crafty in the kitchen you could think of something better to do with them.

Once the liquid was cooled to room temperature, we added two tablespoons of vinegar to each color.

Then we poured the dye into some tall glass mason jars that seemed a good fit for dipping the eggs into. I probably could have poured the boiling liquid straight into the jars but it seemed easier at the time to use a dish that had a wide enough opening to insure a spill-free pour, what with boiling liquids and small helpers and all. ;o)

And that was it for making the dye.

Then we just had a blast dipping our eggs and experimenting with how the colors of the eggs changed with varying lengths of time in their color baths. We had so much fun that when we ran out of eggs we ended up dipping strips of paper just so we could keep going! The colors that came out of the blueberries, beets and onions were so rich and lovely. I really was surprised at how bright the dyes turned out. I kind of wondered if the colors might be a little dull and watered down looking. But they turned out beautifully!

The boys had a great time setting the eggs up in their little clay nests. We have two little animatronic pet birds in our family, named Chirpy and Sunny (they are fairly realistic replicas of an eastern bluebird and a goldfinch, with lifelike chirps and all) and the boys had so much fun setting the little birds on “their” eggs in the nests. They were so cute!

So the process of making the dyes was really fun. I know it would have been faster, cheaper and easier to just buy the little kit with the colorful dissolving tablets. But I cannot describe to you the joy I felt today as we methodically planned out each step of the process. The vast majority of today was spent in making those beautiful eggs. Each step was very simple, and the kids were able to do anything not requiring sharp knives or direct contact with boiling water. But there were so many steps - and a lot of lag time between steps - that it did take all day.

There were eggs to boil, beets to chop, onions to peel, water to measure, pots to boil, liquids to cool, vinegar to pour, jars to fill and work areas to set up… not to mention a ton of clean up.

But nothing was complicated or difficult, and all of it was very soothing, really. It was such a peaceful day. And as each step simmered or cooled without supervision, we went about with our other business of the day. The dye making process was just in the background all day long.

This will most definitely be the most memorable egg dying experience of my life so far, and I’m sure it is one that we will be doing again. I wish I could describe the satisfaction we all felt through the process. But I’m not the best with written words. So you’ll just have to trust me on that one.

So there you go.

A very fun, very unique project that brought fun to a whole house for a whole day. And now we even have some beautifully colored paper bits to make into cards and notes for loved ones!

So if you happen to have a spare day and some beets and blueberries lying around this weekend, maybe you can try to make up a batch or two of dye. I think you’d really enjoy it…

Oh, and don’t forget to get those eggs hardboiled BEFORE you dye them!