Counting down...

37 weeks.

I cannot believe that I have already been pregnant with this baby for 37 weeks. That sounds like such a long time, doesn't it?

But it feels like the blink of an eye.

My baby is due three weeks from now - and though I am so excited to hold him or her in my arms soon, I am definitely not done holding him or her in my womb yet.

The middle of the night wiggles. The kids feeling the kicks and squirms when I read to them. That sweet little foot parked permanently on my right side, just under my ribs. The full belly. The being of "We" rather than just "Me." It's all just so precious a gift, so beautiful a miracle.

I am so blessed to have been a part of this aspect of God's creation six times now. I wouldn't trade a moment of any of my pregnancies.

And I know I wouldn't trade a moment of any of my times with my newborns and babies and toddlers and children either... all of it has been such a glorious gift.

But 37 weeks - only 3 (plus or minus) left - this particular gift has a time limit. And this one is almost up.

So I am soaking in each wiggle, each foot jab, each head turn, each achy little contraction that is just slightly reminiscent of the labor to come, the beautiful moment of meeting this child for the first time - just on the horizon.

Everything is perfect. The lack of posting is only due to lack of time allotted to this machine - not due to lack of wonderful moments to write about. The children are all well. My sweet Little Bug just celebrated his first birthday last month, and Finny and Punky turned 7 and 9. Loose ends are getting tied up, to-do items are getting checked off as I prepare for the newest arrival. School is still being taught (and learned - though admittedly with less passion on both sides than was felt in the fall!). The freezer will be stocked in the days to come. The homebirth kit is ready and waiting. The boy and girl quilts I so badly wanted to make are sewn and done and sitting beautifully in the bassinet - and soon enough a baby will be in one of them.

And so begins this 38th week - and as I sign off, my sweet babe is hiccuping away. Oh how I'll miss those hiccups. But oh how cute they'll be in person, no doubt...

I've had too much to do with my family and have found it difficult to spare my precious time to sit in front of my computer to post much at all.

And I'm not really posting now, since I think it would be more fruitful to go up to bed and read a book before falling asleep.

But I just had to write that I am sitting at my desk here and my unborn baby is wiggling sweetly (26 weeks tomorrow). My dryer is humming in the background and my five beautiful babes are asleep in their beds. My hubby is at his best friend's house for a much needed evening with his childhood buddies, so I am enjoying a quiet, peaceful evening alone. I feel so very blessed in this tiny little moment.

To get to feel the wiggles and kicks of this sixth little blessing - a child I always wanted but honestly never even dared to dream might really become a reality. And here he or she is, so alive, so active, so real and already a part of our family. And I look at the rest of them - from ten months up to almost nine years old - and I can hardly believe I am the one who gets the privilege and joy of raising them all.

Will the movements of a baby in pregnancy ever lose their novelty? Not for me. The novelty of having children, and watching them grow in their relationships with their parents and with each other? Nope. It still humbles me almost daily.

I am so very, very blessed. Thank you Lord. For everything.

Cravings...

I have the biggest sweet tooth EVER these days. I am constantly craving chocolate and cookies and desserts of every kind. And not just a bit. Large crazy amounts of sweets.

Any guesses on what that means for what gender the baby is?

I just hope I don't pop a cupcake out in a few weeks here. ;o)

And for anyone counting... I'm due in 2 1/2 weeks. I'll keep you posted.

I've got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart...

It's one of those sunny, happy, delightful days around here.

No, the weather is not really sunny. It's dry, and I can actually see some blue through the gray - but that's not what I'm talking about.

It's just that I'm feeling all sunny and bright.

Don't you just love those days when all the blessings you KNOW you have just really feel so blindingly apparent that you just can't help but feel joy bubbling out from every part of your soul?

Well, that's today for me. I mean, I always know I'm blessed. And I am not a particularly gloomy person. In fact, I'd say I'm downright cheery most of the time.

But today is just abundantly joyful and cheerful.

So just for fun, I thought I'd list off just the first few of the many reasons I feel so joyful, blessed, cheerful and sunny today.

• I'm going to have a BABY in about 4 weeks. How cool is that? (I've known for ages that I have been pregnant. But I'm actually going to HAVE A BABY within the next month! That realization has just occurred to me in the past week or two.)
• I have a new found love and passion for my husband for the first time in almost ten years of marriage... and I feel so very blessed to see that he has the same new found love and passion for me as well.
• My sweet hubby OK'd cloth diapers for our newborn - the first of the five to come straight into the world wearing cloth rather than disposable.
• My diapers arrived today and are in the wash now. And they are so stinking tiny and cute I could just about die!
• I have the four cutest and sweetest kids on the entire planet. And they love each other and each one of them has been so happy and sweet today (all week really).
• School went super smoothly today.
• Girly Pie has peed in the potty WAY MORE than in her pants today. That's enough right there to set my soul on fire! ;o)
• No matter how much I've ever done wrong, and no matter how bitter or foul my soul can be at moments, I am the daughter of a King who loves me through it all, and thinks I'm wonderful and made me just the way He wanted me to be. And today for some reason, I'm just hyper-aware of that love and grace.
• I have See's chocolate in the house.
• I got to watch my four children holding and singing to and fawning over my good friend's 4 week old last night, and it was such a beautiful thing to see their excitement and love pouring out on this little guy.
• Punky has been pining ever since holding my friend's little man... "I can't WAIT for our baby to be born! I think I could change the diapers now, don't you?" I am just so blessed to have been given a first born son to this growing family of ours who has such a love for little ones and so longs to help and care for all the little chicks in this nest.
• I got to start the morning out with a short chat with my best bud MG, and as rare of a treat as that is these days it always is a delight.
• My body is healthy and whole. I take for granted often enough what a blessing that is. But today, I'm just very aware of the gift that health in life really is.
• My children are healthy and whole - this one feels even bigger than my own health. I'm so glad that they were blessed with strong bodies, healthy immune systems and everything in between.
• Dinner is already in the crockpot. I love days when dinner is done at 8am. ;o)
• My "To Do Before the Baby Comes" list is rapidly getting crossed off. That feels so GOOD!
• My hubby called me from work this morning to invite me to play one of our favorite card games this evening. It's so fun to be invited to such a thing. And I love that he's thinking about our evening together even while we're both busily working through our day.

I know there are a million more things that are adding to my general feeling of happiness and bubbly joy. But those are the first few that came to mind. And I have diapers to rotate in the wash and lunch to eat and lots of other options of ways to spend my short quiet time of the day. So off I go.

I hope you are feeling the joy of all your blessings today as well!

24 1/2 weeks

That's me as of late last week. ;o)

Pregnancy Update

So - I realize that I'm more than half way through this pregnancy, and I hardly ever mention my pregnancy or the baby on this blog.



So today seemed like a good time to just fill in the gaps!



I'm past the 23 week mark now (closing in on 24 actually), and everything is progressing great for me, and as far as I can tell for Baby too. I've had two ultrasounds already to diagnose some bleeding (though scary to begin with, it was not serious and as far as I can tell has resolved itself!) and very much enjoyed seeing pictures of my sweet little Jelly Bean. He or she has been doing well, and we'll get to see the bigger picture next week at our bigger ultrasound. So then, when I finally have big pictures with fingers, toes and profile shots I will be able to post them here to share.



Sadly I am much worse about getting pictures of myself through this sweet time in life now that I have a few other little ones around. I was so good at getting pics every few weeks with my first 3 pregnancies. But I never did get a good one of Girly Pie. And I still haven't done any of this guy. I do intend to get a couple though, and I guess I can post them when I do. But I am definitely at the point where people don't know feel confident enough in my condition to comment on it. Usually that's a good thing, but it still amazes me the things people will say in "polite" conversation.



This little one is not giving us any particular clues as to whether he or she is in fact a he or a she. We are not peekers, so we won't know for sure until we meet the baby. Personally, I love that moment of truth and wouldn't trade the surprise for the world. And I'm not too anxious most of the time to find out, though in some pregnancies more than others I have a harder time waiting. This is one where I really am perfectly content to wait, though very curious what the baby is going to be. I guess my track record of the three to one ratio makes me lean towards assuming it will be another boy, but if I ignored the numbers and went off of feelings and baby wiggles, I guess I'd say I lean more towards girl. So in other words, I really have no idea! This little one so far seems fairly similar to Girly Pie as far as movements and position go, but then none of my pregnancies have been super unique. S/he is not a huge kicker, and always moves in the same spot, the same spot that Girly Pie did. Most of his/her movements are quite gentle and more of a wiggle than a kick. Lots of hands and arms, is my guess, rather than feet and knees moving around.

The funniest thing I can tell so far is that this little one has some personal space issues. Any time I move in a way that might squish him or her, or any time a sibling leans or pushes too heavily on my belly, this guy gives a full body reaction to the pressure. It's a funny violent little explosion. This is the first one to be so reactive to outside influence... I'm hoping that is not a bad sign for a fifth child... that could make for some interesting times with four older siblings always wanting to love on this little one!

So all in all, I am thoroughly enjoying this pregnancy. I get little glimpses of how exciting it will be to actually give birth, to meet a new little person, to kiss that soft, fuzzy little head... but for the most part that still seems like the distant future to me. I'm happily sitting in the here and now. My big goals before February include lots of organization, schedule refinement, pre-planning for the remainder of the school year so that I don't let it all fall by the wayside when I have a sweet little angel face to admire and memorize distracting me from all those equally important goals, meal planning & freezer stocking, and potty training a certain big-sister-to-be... plus a few odds and ends around the house. So far I've been pretty productive, but there is still plenty more to accomplish. And I know myself well enough to expect many of my goals to remain unmet. But hey, I'd rather aim high and miss than just settle for nothing!

So that's the scoop. We're all happy and healthy here. All the kids (who have a clue that is) are getting excited to meet a new little brother or sister, and they all have opinions on which it will be. Girly Pie is baby-obsessed right now, so I'm hoping that is a good sign for the months to come.

Five.

Five.

It’s a pretty great number, isn’t it? I’ve never really thought about it too much, but really, it’s very nice.

We have fingers on each hand and five toes on each foot. Each number on a clock face counts for five minutes. Five is half of ten, which in a base ten number system, makes it pretty useful. It’s an odd number. It’s a prime number. It’s a Fibonacci number. It’s a great age – they are suddenly so big, so aware – and yet still so small and sweet at the same time. It’s two pairs and a single. Five arms on a sea star (or most stars for that matter). Five petals on a flower (at least most flowers drawn by little hands). Five love languages. Five star restaurants. On a scale of one to five.

And then there are the many wonderful uses in literature and music. Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed. Five Little Ducks Went Out to Play. Five Little Monkeys Swinging in the Tree (teasing Mr. Alligator, “Can’t catch me!” – you know that one, right?). Five Little Peppers and How They Grew (great book). One of my husband’s favorite five allusions… Johnny Five is Alive. Remember that one? ;o) Five Litte Fishies Swimming in a Pool. Five Bears in the Bed.

The list goes on.

Five. It is indeed a nice number. It’s not a number I’ve ever really given much thought to before. I’m usually more of an evens girl myself. I like equal pairs, normally. They just fit nicely in my moments of more linear thinking.

But five is growing on me. I like the idea of it being one more than two equal pairs. Being a little odd is a good thing, after all. One hand full.

Five.

So… Any curiosity as to why I have this sudden fascination with the number five?

Any guesses? Anyone?

Well. I am currently pondering and admiring the number five… because in about 6 months I will be the proud mama of five little blessings.

Yep. We’re expecting another little one, due to arrive in early February, 2010.

It’s a little surprising (though not terribly so…) and a lot humbling. It’s slightly intimidating and hugely honoring. I cannot believe we are being blessed again with a new little person to love, guide and encourage. I get to meet that new little life, and be the first one to hold them in my arms. I get to memorize the face of another little being. I get to see God’s fingerprints all over the creation of another of His most precious creations – a new son or daughter, made in His own image.

I really cannot even find the words to describe all the thoughts that go along with this exciting experience.

I know that for many, five children are A LOT. I get constant comments in public places about how full my hands are as it is, so I can only imagine the looks and comments that are to come with 5 little ones all under the age of 8. But to me, that’s really not at all what it’s about. I do feel like I have less time to just sit around and dream about this new little baby to come than I have with the others. And I have been through pregnancy and birth four times before, so I can’t exactly say I am surprised by the stages and sensations that come along with this precious time of life. But it is still no less miraculous, no less awe-inspiring to consider.

When I sit down and take a moment to consider how far this little life has already come in the 14 weeks of his or her existence, I am amazed all over again, just as I was the first time I pondered these same thoughts 8 years ago while pregnant with Punky. And to think that in six short months we will be welcoming a new son or daughter into our family, a new name to love, a new face to cherish, and new little soul to meet and become acquainted with… well, I really am constantly in awe of God’s power to bring two half cells, just barely large enough for the naked eye to see, together and create from them a perfect little life.

So, clearly it’s not old news to me to do this “all over again.” It’s familiar, it’s comfortable… and it’s still exciting and amazing and lovely.

And I get to have five little wonders to raise and love! Wow.

And they get to grow up together – five of them – as siblings in a big, happy, blessed, uneven and quirky family.

(And, just as a side note, I get to learn how to educate two children while still having three little ones to also love, raise and entertain… it’s going to be an interesting year around here, to be sure.)

So there you go. The joys of five. I can hardly wait! (But really, I’ve got A LOT to do before February… so I CAN actually wait just fine. That is one very big difference from my first pregnancy to my fifth!)