Time

Time.

60 seconds in a minute. 60 minutes in an hour. 24 hours in a day. 7 days in a week. 52 weeks in a year.

It is what it is and it doesn't change – at least it hasn't in my lifetime.

And yet, it can feel so very different from one day, one month, one season to the next. Some days you wonder how you will ever make it to dinner time, and other days suddenly it’s 20 minutes past your normal dinner hour and you look up and wonder in amazement, “Where did the day go?”

A few weeks back I felt like I had so very, very much to do and so very, VERY little time in which to do it all. I felt robbed of all that I wanted to do and overwhelmed with all I HAD to do. It was a funny mix of “Where did the day go, I’ve hardly done a THING!?” and “How can I possibly survive until my Hubby gets home? This day is taking forever!”

A few months from now, I may very well be back in that same spot. But right now, at least for the past two weeks or so, I suddenly see so much potential for my time, and suddenly it seems everything is falling neatly into place each day.

Suddenly, the time I have been blessed with each day seems perfectly matched to the tasks which lay before me.

Right now, in this particular stretch of time (and I can only pray this “stretch” lasts for a LONG time!) everything lines up. And each moment of each day, from my always too-early seeming wake up to my always too-late feeling plop into bed, feels rewarding, challenging, fun and... right where I want to be.

I know most of the difference is my own perspective and attitude. Honestly, since Girly Pie’s emergency room adventure a couple of weeks back, my eyes have definitely been on my Maker to take care of me and carry me through my struggles rather than on my own lack of ability to get through them. My eyes have also been back on Him with an attitude of thanks for the blessings I have been given, rather my view of my blessings being blocked by the obstacles of life and my own negativity and fears.

And I’m pretty sure that just that shift of focus has made the most difference in how I have felt since then. I feel God has blessed that shift in focus back to Him. I'm looking back where He wanted me to look, and I do feel He's pleased with that.

There is something else though, too. In addition to changing where my focus is (or maybe because of that change?) I’ve also felt more driven and inspired in working out a daily routine that better fits our family’s needs.

I’ve tried and failed so many times before at schedules and routinesmore times that I care to count let alone admit out loud. Really, to tell the truth, I hate schedules. I go into them kicking and screaming, and usually run right back out the same way. And there is absolutely no guarantee that this time will be any different.

But, at least for the moment, this time does feel different. This time, I really can feel God's hand in how our days are going. I actually feel like He gave me the the inspiration I have been desperately seeking and revealed to me how He knew our days would best be spent.

I can see my days in chunks and I know what will fill those chunks. I have been shown what has been lacking, and those gaps are being filled daily now. I feel guided and structured, but not restricted and confined.

Sure, I have much less “me time” than I did before, but somehow the time I do find to be free and mine is getting better used and I appreciate it more. Instead of sneaking in little snippets here and there at the computer or at finishing the smaller tasks around the house left undone, I see now how I was taking away from the more important things I want to do each day. I also see that while I was constantly multi tasking every moment of every day, I was never really fully in any given moment or task. I was always only semi-present. And so I missed the joy in most of what I did.

And now I am so very much enjoying my days, even though I am doing so much more than I was before! And yet, I feel like I have MORE time than I did before.

It's amazing really.

Maybe I’ll post the skeleton of my daily schedule/routine another day, but the meat and potatoes of the plan is not really my point today. My point is just that time never really does change, but what you do with it, and the attitude and perspective you have during the time you are blessed with, really does make a huge difference in how your time is passed, and in how you feel in each moment you have.

Or at least that’s my thought on the matter. For the moment, anyway.