What are little girls made of?

Sugar and spice and everything nice.

... Oh, and ER visits, too.

So I got to spend my first day in an ER today - and it was not with one of my three sons. It was with my little Girly Pie. I've heard many a rumor that girls are docile, calm and still. But not my sweet Girly Pie. She is sweet for sure, and definitely has her daintier qualities. But she is not anywhere near still. She's been a climber since before she could walk, and has given me more than my fair share of scares over the past months of her increasing mobility.

But this morning when she fell and bumped her lip on a small child's bench we keep at our little kid's table, she hardly cried at all, and I never would have thought twice about such a simple stumble.

Except for the fact that there was blood everywhere and her lip had a nasty looking flap of skin hanging off of it.

Looking at it I suspected immediately that it would need something - stitches, skin glue, something like that. I called Mary Grace to confirm my suspicions (I didn't want to be too paranoid, after all lip wounds can look much worse than they really are) and then set to work trying to figure out just what to do.

The really cool thing was that God's hand was all over the day. For a start, my Hubby has Mondays off from field work and he works at home doing phone and office stuff, so I had the flexibility to just go with Girly Pie and not have to worry about who could watch my three boys, or about taking them along and dividing up the attention that I was sure a sad little girl would need fully. And from there, the little twists and turns of the day just led more and more directly to exactly where God knew we needed to go.

Our new insurance is apparently not accepted by our current doctor's office - a fact we just found out this morning when I called to find out if they could squeeze her in for a look. I have never much liked the whole office, and really the only reason we have remained is that it is only 25 minutes away and all the other docs are 40 minutes or more. But I always second guess their thoughts and we never have really been on the same wavelength. So I called my good friend E. who uses the same insurance and has always said wonderful things about their pediatrician. She quickly gave me the number, and off I drove with Girly Pie, waiting on hold on my cell as I headed that direction and going on faith that they would make room for her ASAP. Sure enough, even though the wonderful doc didn't have any openings until 5pm, they made room for Girly Pie right as we arrived at 10am. The new doc was WONDERFUL. I know that I would not have appreciated my old doc's advice as much as Dr. Wonderful's, and he was so sweet with Girly Pie, and so thorough with his exam. He was gentle with her and explained to me the severity of the injury.

Now I will pause in the story here to point out that Girly was not crying during all this time. The fall was minor, the bleeding had stopped, and aside from missing her morning nap, she was really not fazed at all by the whole ordeal of the actual injury. (another small miracle for the day!) So the doc told me all I needed to know, and said that since the cut was on the line between her actual lip and the skin below, and because it was so close to the crack where upper and lower lips meet, it was just a really hard place to stitch up. He saw she did indeed need stitches, but he knew his office was not equipped to do such a delicate job on such a small, and uncooperative, patient.

So we were sent to the Children's Hospital in Seattle, over an hour from our home. He said we could go to others nearer, but that Children’s would be the best equipped to do such a delicate procedure on one so young.

So off we went. Again, this doc's demeanor and his kindness and gentleness with both my girl and this worried momma were so comforting, and I really did trust his opinion. I really see God's hand in the insurance thing sending us away from our other office to this one.

So eventually (after so very much waiting and talking and looking and waiting…) Girly Pie was given a bit of a loopy drug, the name of which eludes me at the moment, to lessen her reaction to being messed with and to make her forget the whole ordeal when it was over. She was definitely happier after the drug - she had been horrified up to that point by anyone even looking at her or taking her pulse, let alone sticking needles in her face! But even with the happy juice, she fought like crazy when they tried to wrap her up in the blanket to do the procedure. She was numb and a little sedated, but still fully conscious - and fully ticked off to be so rudely messed with.

Poor thing.

So as if that wasn't bad enough, after I was finally able to hold her again and calm her down, while she was sucking on a popsicle BOTH of her stitches popped out.

So they had to do it AGAIN.

That is the point at which, as her Mommy, it really got hard for me. I had already told her we were all done, she was in my arms and ready to go. But that wound just opened right back up, and aside from just not wanting her to have a big scar on her face for the rest of her life, I just could not imagine how the healing process would go with such a big, floppy wound.

So I agreed to try it one more time, stating that if these new stitches failed that we were done and she was just meant to have a scar.

So they did it again. They used a heavier gauge suture, and did three stitches instead of two. And she fought even harder.

The hardest part for me though was not so much the fighting and crying. That was actually a good thing. I was glad to see her fighting and not just accepting such abuse. But when she plaintively called out "Mama! MAAAMAAA!" through that second procedure I just about lost it.

I just could not imagine how terrified she was in that moment, her head held down by strangers, bright lights in her face, her lip numb and her body reacting to a strange drug in her system that made her feel out of control. And when she called for the one person she trusts most in the world to help her - I couldn't. I couldn't help her, and I couldn’t stop the fear.

I just talked to her all through it and stroked and held what parts of her little body I could without disturbing the doctors, and I prayed like crazy. I prayed that God would give her peace and not let this be a scarring event in her life - emotionally, I mean. I could care less about the physical scar compared to that. And I prayed that she really would just forget the whole thing, and that it wouldn't be something that would really affect her as she grows.

So finally, long past when I ached to hold her, they finished the last stitch and I got to pick up my frightened, sweaty, exhausted little girl. And she really did calm down quickly. She did not like any of the hospital folks after that, though I can hardly blame her. But she was happy to be in my arms, and we went home shortly thereafter.

Girly Pie was asleep before we even got out of the parking lot, and slept like a rock for the whole hour + ride home. The poor girl had missed her usual naps and hadn't eaten since her very meager breakfast at 7:30 this morning. We left the ER at 3 in the afternoon.

But when she woke up, she was happy and snuggly and ready to get up and get to playing at home. She still wants to grab at her lip, which we of course are not supposed to let her do, but she is eating fine and as far as I can tell is not feeling any pain from the whole incident.

And though I can't tell for sure, I feel like my prayers really were answered, and Girly Pie seems to have forgotten the trauma of the ER today already. She has not been overly clingy or fearful, and she really has been her same old, adventurous self all evening. She has already given us several scares from climbing and trying to fall. I'm not super thrilled about the scares, but it's still a good sign that she's feeling like herself.

Sigh.

So that was my day. I had big plans for a mellow day at home, a bit of school and tidying up, maybe a trip to a park after her nap. But God had other plans for our day.

And really, aside from the pain of watching her through that second procedure as she called for me - and thinking about just how terrified and awful she was feeling in that moment - through the whole day I was so aware of God's gifts for the day. I never had those thoughts of "If only she hadn't fallen!" I was so focused on being thankful that God had everything under control. The day was crazy, there were such hard moments, and nothing went as smoothly as it could have. But the trouble with the doc's office ended up being a blessing. And the doc not being able to do the stitching was a blessing too. Can you imagine if they had tried in the office and failed? It would have been even more traumatic there, and then we would have had to go to the hospital in the end anyway, since the stitches clearly needed to be done in such a special way. And what if we had gone to our old doc and they had tried to do a less-than-the-best fix for her? I was just so thankful that God paved the whole day to get my girl, His girl, where she needed to go for the best care.

So today really was such a good reminder to me that stuff happens in life. There are no promises that we'll be protected from hardships. But God does make a way to get you through those hard times, and he makes sure you are carried safely to the other side.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him... (emphasis mine)

So today was a much needed perspective check, and I feel firmly kicked out of my little cave of worry over the things to come. I've been stuck here in neutral for a few weeks, wondering how to do all that I have to do, and feeling overwhelmed by all I feel I must do. But in all that, I lost sight of God's power to carry me through any hard times to come, and I lost focus on the gifts and blessings he has blessed me with along the way.

As our pastor recently said powerfully in a message about the young David in the Bible before he was king - I was like the other Israelites, focusing on the Giant - unlike David, who put his focus on the Giant Killer - God.

So today I am happily, joyfully, thankfully back where I belong. My eyes are on my Giant Killer. The giants of my life - the duties, the fears, the sensory disorders, the responsibilities, the worries of failing those I love the most – will no longer receive my utmost attention. God, the defender of us all, the slayer of all of life's Giants, is where my eyes are pointed once again.

And I never would have thought He would remind me of that simple truth by walking me through a day of trauma and pain in my baby girl's life. But He does indeed work in mysterious ways. And my baby is safe and happy and sleeping soundly in her bed.

I have nothing in the whole world to complain about. I have only thanks to give this night.

"What," you might ask, "is it like to have a baby girl in a family with three big brothers?"

Well, it's a little bit like this:

Notice the pink shortalls? And the pigtails? Notice the very pink baby doll in the toy baby carrier on her back? Ahh. But did you also notice the golf club swinging from her right hand? And the Samurai sword she's brandishing in her left?

Yes. That's what it is like having a baby girl with three older brothers.

A little bit of everything. And so stinking cute and funny I can hardly stand it.

My Sweet Girly Pie

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted much on my sweet little Girly Pie. So tonight I thought it might be fun to just put up some cute pictures and updates on how our baby girl is doing.

Girly Pie just turned 11 months old. That means that next month she will celebrate her first birthday. Wow. I can hardly believe it’s been that long since she was born! Can you tell that I just don’t seem to have a real grasp on how time works? I am always shocked by how quickly everything spins by us, especially in regards to my babies!

Girly Pie is just a happy, sweet, darling little girl. It’s funny how old 11 or 12 months sounds when you first give birth to that tiny 7 or 8 pound baby. Someone else’s 11 or 12 month old looks huge and you cannot imagine you baby EVER getting there. That’s practically a toddler. It’s hard to imagine counting your child’s age in years when you’re still able to count the number of days they’ve been here on your fingers.

But when you get there, especially with your second and subsequent children, you realize how little and babyish this age really is. Really, Girly Pie is at the peak of cute babyish sweetness right now. She loves to crawl around and explore the house. She thinks peek-a-boo is the coolest thing ever. She’s like a cat – if her head is the least bit hidden, or if her eyes are just buried – she seems to think she’s really invisible. Then she’ll pop her head up with a look of complete delight in anticipation of the surprise on your face as you say, “Where’s Girly Pie? OH!!! THERE she is!” It’s pretty funny. She loves to point and babble about everything she sees. Playing in the Tupperware cupboard is much more exciting than any toy box in the house. She’s little and squishable and huggable and kissable. She’s just so dang cute you could almost eat her whole.

Girly Pie got the chance to really explore the yard last week when the sun made a short but exciting appearance for a few days. She seems completely unfazed by the pokey grass under her bare toes. She was so delighted to find that she could navigate the little backyard climbing toy by herself. She's my little climber.

That fair complexion of hers is going to be put to the test as soon as the sun comes out in earnest. Girly Pie barely kept her hat on long enough for me to snap off this shot of her. She mostly screeched and yanked at it until she got it off. Time to find some nice baby friendly sunscreen for faces, methinks.

Look at that smile. That girl is sure a charmer!


Oh, and she's a monkey, too. Every time I turn around Girly Pie finds a way to get up onto some piece of furniture. So far she's not made it on top of the dining room table or the kitchen counter. But I'm thinking I'd better watch out...

Our dog Jake is quite happy to have a little one around who does not yet know the rule about not feeding the dog from the table.

Look... she's got JUST enough hair to eek out pigtails. Isn't she cute!?

And yes, she's taking steps now. She's not what I'd qualify as an official walker yet, but she is getting steadier and taking more steps each day. I'm sure that by her birthday she'll have given up crawling as her main mode of transportation and will have moved onto bipedal status.

So there you go. Just a little snippet of life with our sweet baby girl. She's just such a delight and the whole family is just enjoying her to pieces.

Wow. That was fast.

So my sweet little Girly Pie is eight months old today.

Yes, the same little Girly Pie that I swear I just gave birth to last month. Seriously, wasn't I just in the midwife's office for my weekly prenatal visit, packing up to head out the door with three little boys, a big belly and four centimeters dilated? Didn't I just call my Mary Grace and E. at 2am to come over and hang out for the +/- hour in the middle of the night before this mystery baby came so smoothly into the world? Wasn't it just yesterday that my husband said those words I will never in all my life forget... "It's a little girl."? I know for sure that in utter awe I held this little girl in my arms for the first time just moments ago, no name picked but there she was regardless, beautiful and pink and small and perfect.

But no. It really and truly has been eight entire months... my little baby is a big baby.

And just in case the physical age wasn't enough for me to just know she is heading out of all those new little baby months and moments and hurtling towards that bigger still-kind-of-a-baby-but-soon-to-be-toddler (thanks for the reminder, MG!) part of life, she decided to prove it outright last night and today.

My baby girl has been scooting in that cute army crawl/inchworm/alligator type way for weeks. She's been mobile for what seems like ages with just rolling and wriggling around. She’s been fast for a couple of weeks now. And she's been toying with crawling and pulling up on things.

And last night for the first time she full out crawled. Hand over knee and off she went.

It was not a fluke, either, because this morning she was right back at it. And then, just to really rub it in just that little bit more, she also threw just one more big-baby milestone at me, too. When she crawled to me as I beamed at her and cheered her on, she caught onto my enthusiasm and decided that was the moment to sit up on her knees and try out her first clap, too.

So my sweet little baby girl... that newborn teeny tiny little thing of mine... is getting bigger.

And she is oh so sweet. And she is adorable and eager. Her smile is so engaging and endearing. She loves people and is so sweet to always want to reach out and touch the face of any person willing to take a moment to engage her in conversation. Her eyes are so bright and that girl so wants to get moving and explore this world of hers – just as long as she still has her Momma in sight. She adores her big brothers with a passion that just delights my mother's heart. I love how she heads straight for the dog food bowl and grabs handfuls of it in lightening fast speed and then throws them wildly to the floor so she can get yet another handful dumped out before I get to her and ruin all the fun. It's so dang cute, too, how she does that sweet little baby bird thing when I am feeding her. She just patiently sits there with her mouth wide open, a serious look of communication on her face as she stares me down, willing me to pop the next spoonful in there as I take just that little bit too long in between all the distraction of life with a few big brothers around. It’s so darling when she sings into her little blue kazoo. And we all love hearing her little sing-song voice as she babbles the day away.

So, always reluctant to embrace change, I sit here with that bitter-sweet feeling as I see change coming none the less. I am so thrilled to see her reach these milestones and to be thriving and alive and so full of excitement and joy. I love to watch her grow and to get to know each little bit of her. She’s this mystery to me. A daughter. My daughter. A young woman in the making. I know so little about this world, and I really am in awe as I watch this world unfold in her. I know nothing of who she will be, who God created her to be, and really, who she was before is already fading. She just is who she is today. And I just love her, every little bit of her. I’m a little sad to think that today will not last forever. But not too sad.

Does that even make sense? I don’t know. I am just enjoying the bejeebers out of this little girl.

But it is going wildly fast this time around.

So my Girly Pie is officially crawling now. She also began pulling up on furniture today and even decided to try and cruise around the coffee table this evening. That girl is gonna be a fun one to watch. I can’t even imagine the adventures that are on the way with her.

So now we move on… to the next stage, the newest adventure. Soon it will be real talking and walking, running, jumping and defying. Soon enough she’ll be the crazy two year old and Goose will be the mellow four year old. Finny will be six and Punky will be eight. It’ll all happen in the blink of an eye, just as the last almost seven years have happened already.

But today I have the cutest little crawling baby girl on the entire planet. My babies are all tucked snug in their beds. And I’ve got a picture to paint. So I’m a happy woman. (no one but Mary Grace will know what that last part means… but MG, I know you’re chuckling at me!)

Women, part 4

But again, the Lord was there even without my knowing it or really even asking Him to be. He put us in that first house knowing I would need those friendly neighbor women. He knew I would need people to smile at me and my way too cute babies. He knew I’d need others to say, “It’s ok. I’ve been there.” And to plan neighborhood potlucks with and to introduce me to the world of homeschooling.

He knew that in a few short years after we moved to our first home, that Mary Grace and her family would be moving in just down the road from us. He knew I was in need of a mentor and a true best friend: a woman to walk with hand-in-hand through this beautiful season of life. He created in me an apprentice’s spirit, and He knew that I would need to have a friend to watch and walk alongside without my even being aware of it.

I was not created with an innate knowledge of the world of mothering and of women. I was not raised in a home with anyone modeling these things for me either. But I was brought up in an environment with a very loving and supportive father, and women all around me pouring into me in various ways that went unnoticed for years.

So now, to sum up a bit from all the ramblings… I realize that I really do like women.

I love being able to talk to Mary Grace for hours about nothing really worth keeping a record of, but still I can walk away feeling justified, supported, refreshed, loved, understood… I love that. I love that she can encourage me without even trying. Heck, she can encourage me in the middle of telling me about a tough moment for her just in the fact that I do not feel alone in my occasional chaos or struggles to be all that I am called to be.

I enjoy having another friend I met from church (Let’s call her E.) over with her children and we can let our 6 walking and talking children play together and make gingerbread cookies and while we hold our babies and share stories of support and encouragement of the Lord and His work in our life. We can mention something that we cannot quite put words to in our world of mothering and the other can say, “I know! That is so true.” Even when we do not have the right words to make it all make sense. The thought, the feeling… the understanding is still there.

And I like that I can call the slightly younger friend down the road (I’ll call her C.) with her very young family of two children under two years old and chat about the thrill and newness of our same-aged babies. It’s great that she can come over and try out a craft we’ve been doing for years and to watch her face light up as she enters this world of mothering that I have enjoyed for so many years (well, almost seven years… it feels like it’s been longer though!) and I get to feel just that little bit like the mentors who have meant so much to me over the years.

And the day I started this silly little Women post, after a morning chat with Mary Grace, a midday baking and chatting time with E. and her brood, and an evening spent at C.’s house where we were invited for a lovely quesadilla dinner and we stayed for a nice chat and some super cute play time between our two-ish year olds and our 7 month olds… well, that day it occurred to me that the women in my life are truly a blessing.

These days (though the aforementioned day was a bit more full than I am accustomed to) fill me up in ways that I cannot describe. To share a common thread with these women, to be a part of this world that I once feared… even hated at times… to be accepted, loved, understood…to have others see the beauty in the day-to-day details of my life and understand them on a level that only another mom could… well I am not the graceful and talented writer that is my friend Mary Grace, so I cannot find the words to describe the feelings that come with this connection. But, I have a feeling that if you are a woman reading this right now that you may just have some idea of what I am talking about.

So all this to say that my friends, the women that I can clearly see were chose by the Lord Himself to walk with me in this life, mean very much to me indeed. I once thought that a husband to love me and children to raise were all I needed.

It didn’t take me too long to realize that God had more planned for me. He knew, first of all, that I needed Him. He also knew that I needed friends. And I think He created us that way to begin with. I do not think women were meant to go it alone, you know? Not that every one of us needs to be a social butterfly. One best friend is perfect for me, and one or two other close friends to walk along beside me as well round me out just right.

But at this point in my life, at least now in this short but important season of raising up my young family, I am so very thankful that I can do it alongside a few other women who can hold my hand and hear my stories and enjoy them, and who can share theirs with me. And then, once I have gotten all my chatty excitement out on them, I have just enough left for my husband to enjoy but not to feel overwhelmed by. ;o)

After all, as my dad occasionally says to my husband with a wink, “You married her. She’s all yours now.” And half the time he’ll make the little flapping hand sign that is synonymous with talking too much. So I guess that even though I looked like a boy once upon a time… I always did talk like a girl.

And one last little point, though I have been terribly long winded already… I adore my sons. I love (and always have loved) the world of boys and I always did feel like I would be the mother of boys. And after three of them, I was pretty well sure that I was going to be the mother of only boys. During my pregnancy with Girly Pie, we did not find out her sex (as with all my pregnancies) and I was completely confident and convinced that she was a boy. I remember having pangs and thoughts along the lines of, "I never got to be on the daughter end of a winning mother-daughter relationship. And I wonder if I will ever get to be on the mother end of a right and good mother-daughter relationship." But I was ok with that. I was just thrilled to be having a fourth child regardless!

I am still in awe at times that God blessed me with a daughter of my own. I only pray that He has prepared the right women to come alongside in her life to help guide her toward His purpose for her as He did for me in mine. And I am so very thankful that He has allowed me the gift of being one of those women.

And, for the record, so far I am deeply enjoying this whole mother-daughter thing from the mom end of things. It has been well worth the wait.

Ok. I’ll stop talking now. ;o)

Health Update

Just for those of you wondering and/or praying, we did go into the pediatrician today and she checked Girly Pie's ear out. Much to my surprise and delight, Girly Pie is ear infection-FREE!!!

WOO-HOO!!!

Apparently she has enough wax in there to possibly cause her some discomfort, but no pain. Also, the tail end of her cold, along with some teething troubles are probably what are making for some restless nights and fussy days. But I can take teething and colds any day over ear infections and hearing-inhibiting ear fluid. Every sickness that one of my babies makes it through without an ear infection is a blessing in my family. So bring on the fussy days and sleep deprived nights. I've got a healthy set of ears so I am a happy Momma!

And, as my good friend Mary Grace reminded me today, there may just be a little bit of maturing happening in my soon-to-be-seven-month-old. So where she used to be quite content to just be in my arms or in the wrap while going about our daily rounds with the big brothers, she may be getting to that point where my presence alone is just not good enough. She is not happy unless she has my full attention to boot. Not that I wouldn't be thrilled to offer her my full attention all the time... it's just going to take a little work and some tinkering with routines and schedules to take my attention away from the other bazillion things going on in a day.

So time to make Mommy-daughter time a priority, which I admit I am very excited about. This is clearly one bright, social, engaging, interactive, playful, sweet, alert and active little girl. It is just delightful to watch this girl grow!

Any advice?

As you may or may not have noticed if you've ever looked in on my blog before, I am the mother of three older sons and one baby girl. I truly believe God knew what he was doing when he gave us our three sons before he blessed us with a daughter. I do not believe I was ready to be the mother to our Girly Pie that she needed when I first became a parent.

(Now, in all honestly, I can't really say that I feel all that well prepared to be the mother of my sons, either.)

But somehow with my daughter, I just feel a new kind of pressure and responsibility.

So, this brings me to the point of my request here. I have read lots on mothering boys. I really enjoy Dr. Dobson's Bringing Up Boys (thank you MG!) in particular. I have also heard of Raising Modern Day Knights, though have not read that yet. I really want to bring our sons up to be strong, honorable, Godly gentlemen with a good work ethic and respect for others, and I want them to know how to treat a lady with care and respect. I hope that they will be blessed with wonderful wives someday whom they will love and cherish, and I pray that they will be wonderful husbands and fathers just as God calls them to be. I feel that between the books, the Bible, our friends, and our parents, my husband and I can do alright there.

But now we have a daughter. And as I read other posts on daughters and the trials that face them, I admit that even though she is a mere 5 months old, I begin to worry for her purity and the struggle to come for her to stay pure and to keep her integrity. This world does not model at all what we want for our daughter when she comes into womanhood. But I can't even say I know what it is we should be striving for in raising our little girl.

SO... the point at last... I come to you to see if anyone has some great suggestions on resources to better prepare my husband and I to raise a Godly daughter. I am not even sure what defines a Godly woman. It seems so much easier to define a Godly man. Is it just me?

So is there any advice out there? Any books? Videos? Specific Bible references that will help me?

I really want to be purposeful in how we raise our children. I feel like we've been doing pretty well so far, and I do see the beginnings of Little Gentlemen growing in our house already. But when I look ahead to what will be coming even in the next couple of years with our daughter, I feel very ill equipped to guide her down the path towards God and His plans for her.

Any advice or suggestions at all would be greatly appreciated. She is such a gift, such a sweet, pure little girl. I know she will be a woman someday. And I just want to do everything I can while she's still here, safe in our nest and willing to learn from us, to guide her down the right path to Him and His plan. I know there is only so much I can do, and that in the end that will be between Girly Pie and her Maker. But I also feel like there is a lot we can do now as her parents to make that a less painful transition for her when the time comes for her to make her own adult choices.

So. Advise and suggest away. I am all ears.