My Wonderful Man

There is just nothing sweeter than a man and his children thoroughly enjoying each other's company.

My husband has an outdoor job, and it was wet and rainy today. I think we had some near record floods even. There were threats of the only highway that leads to our small town being closed. But my Man made it home. He walked through the door (a good hour later than he'd planned) wet but happy to be here. He threw his work clothes in the wash so they could be ready for tomorrow and I brought down some fresh, dry sweats.

And then the fun began. That wonderful Man of mine just got down on the floor and let a couple of the boys tackle him and he listened to the excited explanations of the day's happenings. Punky told him all about how much flood water we'd seen on our drive to and from town for Girly Pie's 6 month checkup this morning and Daddy listened with full interest. Finny tackled and tickled and Punky went to get this new doodad that came in a ball pump package. It's a tee for football kicking. I'm sure there is a very technical term for the little plastic thingy that holds the football still so the kicker guy can kick it. But I'll be darned if I have a clue what that technical term might be. Anyway. Daddy knew the name. And Punky kicked the ball and Finny caught it. Daddy then gave them the basics of football and showed them how to properly tackle an opposing player who catches the ball. I'm a complete idiot when it comes to sports, and though my husband is quite knowledgeable on most sports, it's still not one of his major passions in life. So it was a novel thing tonight to have this sports tutorial.

But boy did those boys all have fun kicking and tackling and throwing around the family room. And my Man was smiling the whole time and so happy to be there with his boys. And I was getting the last bits of dinner ready and on the table for my beautiful family. And Goose (who apparently has an ear infection) finally got over the post-nap stupor he'd been fighting all afternoon and was just a complete goofy delight at dinner.

When my Man was spooning bites of stuffing into little Goose's mouth, Goose was standing in his booster seat (bad habit, it bugs me but Daddy doesn't mind so I don't fight it) doing a crazy little dance with each mouthful. It was hilarious.

And is it just me, or is there something just so darn cute and sexy about a man whose eyes twinkle at the sight of his kids doing something cute or sweet? I just love that.

And when Girly Pie spotted him he gave her his best Daddy grin and she was in the Moby wrap and did the full body wiggle of delight and bobbed her head down in this demure, faux-shy girly little move that none of the boys have ever done. It's funny to me that it seems to really delight her Daddy when she does that. That girl is going to win that man over hands down.

Ahhh. life is so sweet when you have such a wonderful, loving man to share it with, you know?

Doing this 30-Day Challenge has been neat, but I admit that it's not been life altering. Now don't get me wrong... I can definitely use the daily reminder to say something encouraging to him and to avoid the temptation to complain to him or about him when he does something I don't like. But on the whole I have realized that I am generally doing alright naturally at complimenting him and appreciating all that he does for me and for our family.

I know that had I tried it two or three years ago it would have been really difficult to follow through on. To give a quick rundown on the challenge, the goal is to go thirty days without saying anything negative to your husband or about him to anyone else. You also need to make sure you say at least one positive thing to him, and one positive thing about him to someone else, every day. I know that in years past this would have been very hard for me. I was quite disrespectful and undermining of my husband's role in our home and family for the vast majority of our relationship. But the sad part is that I didn't even see it as such. And to have tried this a few years back, even after becoming Christian, would have been really eye opening for me. But honestly, I've realized that I am already doing this most of the time in a conscious effort to be more respectful of him in general.

The real turning point for me in my attitude towards my husband was really when we read Emerson Eggerichs' Love and Respect about two years ago. It was really an awakening for me into how much I was taking away from his confidence by constantly trying to better him and "constructively" criticize him. The basic point the book makes is that men should love their wives unconditionally (and society seems to support this half of the equation) and that wives should respect their husbands unconditionally (this goes completely against societal norms - when is the last time you watched a prime time sitcom where the husband was treated with respect either by the wife or the children?). It was hard at first, but I was amazed at how quickly our relationship changed when I just started to focus on the things I did love and respect about my husband, and I tried to ignore or gloss over the things that I thought needed improvement.

Funny thing. Suddenly I really saw that he was this great guy, and he didn't really need much improvement after all. I was the one who needed improvement. And the icing on this lovely cake? He actually started doing nicer things for me and improving naturally in all the areas that I felt worries about previous to my change in attitude. Crazy, huh?

So, I bring all this up just to say that books like Love and Respect, and efforts like the 30-Day Challenge really can make an amazing difference in a marriage. I would never go so far as to say we had an unhappy marriage. But now that I make a general daily effort to appreciate the man that God has blessed me with I find that our relationship is, on the whole, a beautiful one.

I am one very blessed woman. And I love that my husband lets me know that he feels like a very blessed man, too.