I tried...

Ack! I am trying to upload pictures of our Little Man to share with you all... but the blogger site is not cooperating. Bummer. Hopefully it'll work for me next time I have a spare moment and the initiative to sit down and do it (not that I know when that will be!).

As it is I'm about to go relax with him while the little guys sleep and we wait for my Hubby and the two biggest boys to return from their Awana Grand Prix race. They've spent the past weeks and days working on their little derby cars and are hoping for some big prizes tonight.

I had a funny moment the other day though, sitting up in bed just two days after giving birth to my Little Bug (not sure what his blog or real life nickname is yet - I'm still working on one that fits - but hey, at least we finally came up with his official name!). Little Man weighed the same at birth as my oldest did, who will be eight years old next week. So since this guy's birth I've been thinking a lot about Punky and how big he is and remembering all that I can about him when he was new and wee like this guy. And as I sat in bed, a days old baby on one side of me, math work waiting to be graded on the other side, and a derby car in my lap as I painted the perfect flames on it's side for my dear Finny (who will settle for no less than perfect, mind you) I had to laugh. I just said a quiet heart to heart prayer and laughed with God that the last time I held a days old 7lbs 6oz newborn son in my lap I never imagined that eight years down the road I'd be doing it again, only this time with the aforementioned math and painting at the same time. But I knew God had known that's what I'd be doing eight years down that road of motherhood. It's just so different now than it was with just the one little baby. Sure, there's less time to sit and stare at him, and I can't just hide away and cocoon forever as I did with Punky. But life is so much more full, so much more alive now welcoming the fifth into the family. I love pregnancy, and I love welcoming a new little life into the world. I feel more blessed than I can put into words that God has allowed me to be a part of that miracle even once, but to allow me to share in that five times? There really aren't words to describe the gift in that. But I love all of it - the math, the laundry, the deep conversations, the phonics lessons, the meal plan struggles, the doctor's appointments and the itsy bitsy spider songs and the potty training and the quiet evenings with my husband.

I am humbled and blessed so completely to live this life God has chosen for me. And as we all go about our life and as our little guy settles so neatly into his place in the family, I really do have to chuckle now and then at the life I live now. I wouldn't change a bit of it, but it's not the life I had imagined I'd be living. Not at all.

I love that God knows better than we do what it is we are meant to do. Because my way wouldn't have brought the marriage I have. My way wouldn't have had the kids I have. My way had never even heard of homeschooling. My way, well, my way just wasn't the right way. It was just an idea brought forth from my tiny perspective in the tiny life I had lived. But God's way for us - well his perspective is huge, it's everywhere and over all time. He doesn't make mistakes. And as I live each moment of the day in the perfect life He has made - the one He knew all along was just right for me and for the family he was surrounding me with - I just feel so thankful that He made His way be known and come to pass.

OK. Off I go. I'm sure there are a few of you waiting for labor details, and I really will get to that soon. Hopefully with pictures, too. But for now - be content to know labor was great, God was present, and Baby Boy is the cutest thing you ever saw. Trust me. It's true. ;o)