Nine years later...

Nine years ago today I made a promise...

...to love, honor and cherish one man for the rest of my life.

I never dreamed I would be so blessed as I am today.

Nine years ago today I was a naive 20 year old young lady with a huge ego, big plans, a whole lot of control issues and no clue what life was really about.

Nine years ago today I thought I could make my husband into the Perfect Man...

Nine years ago today I thought I knew what the Perfect Man was.

Nine years ago today I did not know the Lord, nor did I consult Him in one of the biggest decisions of my life.

But over the past nine years, God has blessed me despite my ignorance and disobedience. Instead of letting me have what I really deserved - a life full of pain and trouble from going my way rather than seeking out His will - He has filled my life up beyond measure with gifts, love, peace, grace and family.

In His infinite wisdom God knew I would not be asking His will in my marriage, but He chose a wonderful man for me anyway. He knew I would not look to Him to plan our children - no, I knew much better than He did what kind of family I wanted, after all - but He still has blessed us four times over with beautiful children, true gifts from Him (which I now know, of course!).

God also knew I might not find Him on my own, so He blessed me along the way with a wonderful best friend and Christian mentor in Mary Grace who has patiently walked alongside me and has challenged me to grow in my faith and in my role as Godly wife to my husband.

And here I am today, still married to the man I thought I had chosen but now realize God had carefully picked out long before I was on the lookout. I am the mother to four beautiful children whom I did not earn or deserve, but somehow God trusted me to be their mother and to raise them alongside the husband he chose. I love and follow Jesus now in a way I not only never imagined, but sadly for many years of my life never even wanted.

So the point of all this is to say that nine years ago today, I was blessed to marry my husband. And he has loved me well through all of my faults and weaknesses, through my stubbornness and pride, my selfishness and blindness.

God has been patient and gentle with me over the years.. but He is, after all, God. He promises that and He never breaks His promises.

But my husband is just a man, like anyone else. And he too has weaknesses and faults. And though he made a promise to me nine years ago today, he is just a man and men are weak - there was no guarantee that beautiful June day that the promises he made to me would be kept.

But... through sickness and health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse... through all my pride, selfishness, stubbornness and blindness, my husband has indeed kept his promise. He has loved me and has taken care of me and has forgiven me more times than I care to think about.

So today, nine years down the road of the blessed marriage, I am thankful.

I am thankful to God for His presence and His blessings... and His grace and forgiveness, and for the man he provided in my husband.

And I am thankful to my husband for his love and his grace and forgiveness of my sins towards him. I am thankful to him for going to work each day and working twice as hard, just so that I can stay home and raise our children. I am thankful for his laugh and the twinkle in his eye. I am thankful for his silly fetish with cameras, because though I roll my eyes at the purchases, I do very much appreciate all the beautiful moments of our life captured on them. I am thankful for his BBQ skills and his un-picky eating habits and his mellow nature and his comfortable presence. I am thankful for the man he has become over the nine years of our marriage and the father I have watched him grow into over our seven + years of parenthood. I am thankful that he does the dishes more nights than not. I am thankful that he puts hours and hours into decorating our Christmas tree and our house with lights every Christmas, even though he doesn't care - just because he loves me and wants to make me happy. I am thankful that he embraces my Christian morals and the Christian raising of our family, even though he does not (yet) know the Lord as his personal savior.

So nine years later... I'm older, wiser, more humble and know a whole lot less than I thought I did way back then. Nine years later I realize I am not the wonderful woman I thought I was... and my husband is a much better man than I realized he was.

Happy Anniversary, My Love. Nine years. Thank you for loving me - no matter what.

Oh, and by the way... I love you, too. ;o)