School time blues

Well, I guess it's not actually the blues. But I have to admit that my heart is not quite fully in school year mode yet.

I feel like I must be the only one still holding onto what shreds of summer freedom are left.

Maybe it's the fairly new baby. Maybe it's the fact that we as a family just really enjoy being outside. Maybe it's looking at the three growing boy bodies floundering around my house in the rainy summery days and wondering how on earth these walls will contain them for the many, MANY months of gray wet Northwest winter ahead of us. Maybe it's the fact that my Rainbow order still has not arrived, and so I can't even start much of what we have planned for the year yet. Maybe it's because I STILL have not organized or cleaned my desk and office so I can barely find anything I need for school.

Or, it might possibly be the fact that we pretty much quit school last April (or March... it's all a blur) and have not really revisited much of it at all since then. But I was quite pregnant with a May due-date looming ahead and my inertia had just faded by that point. Spring was in the air, a baby was on the way, and heck, it's only kindergarten.

And though I can honestly say that with adding a fourth child I have not found too much change in my daily happenings from how things were with the first three, I do admit to a sheer lack of planning and preparation for this coming school year. But again, I wonder where that lack of excitement and planning came from. I usually like to plan. I can't claim that I always follow through 100% with the plans I make, but I do like the planning part. ;o)

So there is my admission of deep guilt. I know I am still a good mom. I know I am still fully capable of educating my children, and of doing it well. I even know that at some point my excitement for teaching my kids will come back in full. I guess I'm just wondering if it's gonna happen this year.